October Baby

October…where to start? At the beginning, I guess.

My baby sister, Angie, was diagnosed with cancer this summer. I flew to Atlanta in early October to spend a few days with her. She’d just finished the last of her external radiation, was preparing for brachytherapy, and hoping that she would not have to move from oral to IV chemo. We’ll know in about a month. Last week, she had brachytherapy and yesterday she was at a craft show selling all manner of artsy things that she creates. That’s our Angie. She’s pretty unstoppable. If you would add her to your prayers, I’d be so grateful. (In the first photo, Angie is on my right and my mom is on my left.)

It felt like fall arrived all of a sudden here. The leaves went from green, to gold, to gone pretty quickly. I’ve got my calendula under a row cover hoping to extend it’s bloom for a few more weeks. After months of total yard neglect, Jonny and I have been working to clean things up and make plans for what we want to do next. That translates to: we purchased a bunch of plants at 50% off that will likely sit in their pots for the next 2-3 years while we try to figure out where we want to put them and then try to find the time to do so.

October 23rd marked our 25th wedding anniversary. That one’s a big deal, right? It feels like it. But it also feels somewhat impossible. How did we get here so quickly? At any rate, we decided to do something we’ve never done before. We reserved a little cottage on airbnb about an hour away from home. Yes, for the first time we spent money on ourselves for our anniversary! Because the 23rd fell on a co-op day and I needed to be there to teach biology (did I tell you that I’m teaching biology this year?) we planned to go away the nights of the 20th and 21st.

Backing up for a second…I’ve been keeping a secret this year. Not really intentionally, but in hindsight that’s what I’ll call it.

I was woken early Friday morning, the 20th of October, by my oldest son, Seth. In low tones, as though afraid to wake me but also afraid not to, he told me that Phoebe had been having contractions throughout the night. I don’t know if I told you (this is the story of my life this year-not remembering what I’ve said or done or where I put my reading glasses) but Seth and Phoebe built a cabin on our property and live between it and our home. I’m certain I never mentioned that they had a baby due October 25th. Of course, I was wide awake immediately upon hearing Seth’s voice and hopped up to get a better assessment and determine if there was anything I needed to do. There really wasn’t, their birth plan being to head to her mother’s house (who happens to be one of my closest friends, Rachael) and call the midwives.

Soon after they left, Jonny and I anxiously prepared to leave. Well, that’s only partly true. I am pretty sure I was the only anxious one. Thankfully, he rarely is because I carry enough anxiety for both of us. It felt odd to leave with Phoebe in labor, but on the other hand, there wasn’t anything for us to do but wait for news anyway. We’d been planning the trip for months and we weren’t going far. So we packed up and headed out. I had told Seth and Phoebe that I wanted to wait until I met the baby to find out if it was a boy or a girl. But when I got the text that there had been a baby born around 8 p.m. that night, I changed my mind. We wouldn’t be headed home until Sunday morning. I wasn’t sure when we would actually meet the baby. How could I wait? People often suggest to me that with so many kids I must be really patient. I’m not! I texted Seth that I had changed my mind about the whole thing and to call me when he could. I got a text a little while later that announced that the baby was a girl, followed by a phone call. I’ll never forget (or will I?) sitting in the near dark outside that little Thai restaurant with Jonny, learning that we were grandparents just a few days shy of our 25th anniversary.

For the sake of my future self, I’ll share my sob story about the airbnb now, but I’ll try to be brief. The short story is that it was the most darling cottage behind a larger historic home. The owners clearly put a lot of thought into the details and there were so many lovely little touches like cider and mulling spices, and even interesting books on the shelves-my favorite. The grounds were the best part and that’s maybe what inspired Jonny and me to come home and buy a bunch of shrubs we don’t have time to plant. However, there were synthetic fragrance oils in little pots in the den and bedroom. And the sheets were so strongly perfumed by I guess laundry detergent? that I couldn’t sleep that night at all. I guess I’m sensitive to that stuff. Had it smelled like kids and dogs and the dirty compost bucket maybe I would have felt more at home. I tried reading my library book about Linnaeus (affiliate link) and I gave myself little talks about how it was no big deal not to sleep, but I knew I was lying and that I would feel terrible the next day and our anniversary trip would be ruined, and we would have wasted all that money, etc. Jonny woke up at 4 am, having slept poorly himself, and to his dismay found me crying and perhaps a little hysterical. Some combination of fragrance, our first grandbaby, and the pressure of making the most of a trip we’d spent money on had caused me to lose my mind. We went downstairs and made egg toast and I told Jonny I just wanted to go home. I had already packed up my things in preparation. Instead, we went back upstairs and fell asleep. We slept for about five hours, and really, sometimes that’s all you need! I woke up feeling less crazy. We decided that we would pack up and then spend the day in Shenandoah National Park as planned and then head home late rather than go through another sleepless night at the cottage. But when the text came through from Larkspur, indicating that Seth and Phoebe were already back home, and shouting at me in all caps, “THE BABY IS SO CUTE,” we further amended the plan. We would spend the day in Sperryville rather than driving up into the park. It would have been crowded anyway on a Saturday in October. We spent a really nice afternoon looking at art, choosing our favorites and what we would buy if we could, and talking with some of the artists, but I was happy to head home that afternoon.

The darling baby girl we met later that evening didn’t have a name yet. It took them about a week to decide on “Elsie Amalthea.” She’s the most beautiful baby, favoring Phoebe more than Seth from what I can tell so far. I think I see some of my babies when she’s sleeping, but when she opens her eyes, she’s all Phoebe. I love watching babies grow and change and trying to figure out whose features we see.

And if you are wondering about her name, Elsie is simply a sweet name that Phoebe loves as do we. It does happen to be a family name on my mother’s side. Amalthea is the name of unicorn in The Last Unicorn (affiliate link), a favorite book of Seth’s and of mine. You should read it! I think I’ll have to give a copy away soon. That can be my November giveaway with a bar of lavender spruce or Christmas Eve soap. (I will be updating my shop with the last of my scarves, a few cutting boards, calendula salve, and a new lip balm sometime in the next week, but for now you will find my first batches of Christmas and wintery soaps available.)

p.s. If this wasn’t such a terribly long post I’d want to talk about The End of the Affair (affiliate link). My friend Grace recommended it and I would sure love to talk about it with those of you who have read it!