Ambrose didn’t need any new cardigans this winter. He has plenty of hand-me-downs, but I wanted to knit him something using yarn that I dyed and set aside for him before he was born. These skeins were dyed with marigolds, modified with iron, and then overdyed with indigo. I love the soft spruce green. It’s been his color, I think. Perhaps, a nod to this little one. I made his birthday crown in a similar shade.
I wanted a basic cardigan and chose this one because of the cute little pockets on the front. Funny though, I ended up omitting the pockets because the slightest bit of something extra, and I might not have finished this cardigan before he outgrew it. He doesn’t allow me much time for knitting!
Ambrose loves chickens, and ducks, and those were two of his first words. He wants to be outside all the time and wants to be right in the middle of the chickens. Larkspur often takes him to do morning chores with her. I’m so grateful that he loves the outdoors and animals and dirt and all the things I love. I’m really looking forward to spring with him.
Unrelated to this cardigan, I am re-reading A Mother’s Rule of Life and need to create one for myself. I first read this book in 2007! We desperately need more structure here. I feel like we are all sort of flapping about, kind of like the chickens and the ducks! We are managing, but it feels like we all struggle to get our necessary work done.
I remember the relief I experienced in a way when things shut down in 2020. There was fear and confusion as well, but I tend to try to make the best of things. There was no way of knowing what was coming and after years of being overcommitted, it felt kind of great to be forced to drop everything. In the short term, it was an introvert’s delight. We built garden beds and brought home ducklings. We adopted another dog (and a kitten!) But, with a husband who works from home, a bunch of homeschooled children, and then a surprise baby on top of it all, things kind of fell apart structure-wise. I could talk a lot about how it all came about, but I suspect that many of you know what I’m talking about, so no need to go into detail. It hasn’t been all chaos, but things have been very up and down. Recently with the wedding and then Christmas, I really let everything go and now it’s time to bring some order back to our days.
So, now I am trying to figure out how to get everyone back on track, and it’s a daunting task. I’ll have to start with myself. I’ve never felt so resistant to change or needed it so sorely. I have high hopes for 2023 though. I think some of us are feeling a need to tread lightly heading into this year, but what I think I need is a good shaking up! Of course, I also just turned 45 and I’m tired! My overwhelming urge is to crawl into bed with a book. It’s difficult to overhaul your life when you’re tired and you have a busy toddler and you are just generally outnumbered. That is precisely why it all has to start with prayer because I am really unable to do this on my own. I am working on that aspect of my “rule” first. (That is how A Mother’s Rule of Life is laid out, beginning with scheduling your prayer life.) It will likely take me weeks just to get my rule laid out on paper, but I hope to stick with it and bring some needed change into our family’s life this year.
Oh God, come to my assistance. Lord make haste to help me!
Lindsay says
Hi Ginny- I have follow your little place on the internet for many years and I love to read about what you and your family are up to. I just read a book and I immediately thought of you as we’ve watch you build up your dying business. It’s called The Indigo Girl, a historical fiction book about the start of dying indigo in the early American colonies. I think you might enjoy it! All the best to you and your family!
Stacy says
I had a thyroid panel with a good ND, and realized my exhaustion and aches weren’t age. Armour thyroid changed my life. I feel like I’m 30 again! Enough energy to chase my ninth 1 year old…
Beth Etta Uchaker says
Ginny,
It’s like we are living the same life. Everything you be wrote is what we are experiencing here. I think it’s time to revisit the Five “P’s”. ( It’s 5 right?).
You should do a book club of sorts. We can follow along with you. Go at our own pace.
Blessing to you and your family,
Beth
olivia m demkowicz says
Starting anything with prayer sounds like a good plan. I have never actually read A Mothers Rule of Life, though I feel like that book has been a apart of my life forever. Maybe my mom had it in our home…
There is a feral-ness about my younger children that I never sensed in my older ones. It concerns me as I see it as a reflection of my inability to maintain a structure in our homeschool/home. I have to reign it in soon or I will be doing my children a disservice. But they are loved and happy and clean and fed. So I am starting from a healthy baseline. Right?
Peace be with you!
and good luck. 😉
Ginny says
Olivia, I have the same situation here! My younger kids seem so much wilder than my older ones did at this age. And I’m with you on needing to reign it in, but also agree that we are starting from a healthy baseline. 🙂
Beth Etta Uchaker says
This is me too. My first two were tame compared toy last 3. Your not alone.
Praying peace for you Olivia.
Gretchen McPherson says
God bless you and give you wisdom as to how to proceed, and grace for the — haha! — get-nothing-done days. You are never doing nothing. Just being there as the hub of your home and family is huge. I will add you to my prayers.
Barbara Waldron says
All will be well; do the next thing. Prayer is definitely needed for keeping moving forward but the pace will be set by the Lord. Press into Him and follow. Your Ambrose is a darling toddler and very busy. That alone is a full time job. I love your honest sharing and your willingness to be open and vulnerable. You are gifted in this blog that you write and it has a tremendous impact and value for your readers I am sure. Thank you and God bless 2023 for your family.
Lucy, Netley Abbey, Hampshire (England) says
Gilly, I don’t know you and it’s very un-British to offer a stranger a viewpoint but following your blog I feel that I’m getting to know you a little – so here goes. At the beginning of the first UK lockdown I was grieving for my recently died best friend, my widowed BIL. I’d nursed him through his cancer and one of the things on his bucket list was to on at least half as much Morphine as my Fentanyl patches. He didn’t make it, but it made me take stock of the fact that as a severely disabled person with degenerative but not terminal issues I was on a higher dose (and had been for too many years) than a man who’d just died of cancer. I went from 450 mg to 0 in 11 weeks. Not the wisest thing perhaps, being in lockdown and living alone there were only my beloved cats to watch me. Shortly after I came off my meds I went into Respite Care and met my future husband. We married between lockdowns, and I lost him in Jan last year. He never got to see the house that we bought because he wanted to wait until the renovations were complete and our decorating plans were done. Our builder turned out to be a cowboy who took all our money and left so much “work” to be redone and the outstanding to be completed. I’ve felt very lost (I have no family at all) since David’s death as I’ve rattled around in what should have been our home. I made a decision to make no major plans for 1 year and to do only what felt comfortable. I spent Christmas at home with my cats and my Assistance Dog, I thought of David with some sadness and a lot of joy. My lovely dog and I spent New Year’s Eve in the hospital as one of my ulcers had burst and I was bleeding internally. I’m on the slow road to recovery but it gave me time to reflect. I’ve been getting frustrated because I’m not able to do the things I used to do. The structure of my life has changed and by my old ways is unstructured. I was able to see that my life and the life of those around me has changed. 2 years older now (I’m 66 next month) is different from 2 years in previous years. My 2 year old Assistance dog is a treasure as are my 7 month old kittens but my energy levels are different from previous times when I’ve had young dogs and kittens. I need to take time to be gentle with myself, to accept the fact that it’s okay to be less structured, and not to expect myself to be able to be today the woman that I was previously. Your doing a fantastic job Gilly, your raising a beautiful, happy family who will go on to lead independent lives that you and your husband gave them the tools for. One of those tools is for them to see how to treat themselves with gentleness and care, not having unreasonably high expectations of themselves. I hope that I have not crossed boundaries, this comes from my heart. Lucy
Lisa G. says
Yes, how hard it is to remember to simply “complain” (mildly, mildly!) to the Lord about every little and big problem. It’s important, and we tend to just force our way through things, or collapse. 🙂
Kate says
Ginny,
Yes, all good things start with prayer. I found “Holiness for Housewives” both helpful and entertaining. It was also blessedly short. You may want to read that next.
May you have a blessed 2023.
kelli says
Yes! Holiness for Housewives, at less than 100 pages, is a great follow-up! I actually prefer it to Mother’s Rule of Life for finding my motivation.
Ginny says
I’m not sure why I’ve never read that one! I know I’ve crossed paths with it many times! I’m definitely going to read it next! Thank you!
Penelope says
It is okay to say “Yes!” to rest and restoration — in bed with a book! Self-nurture is a good and holy gift to give yourself!
Wishing you peace and a gracious New Year, Ginny.
🕊❤️
Ginny says
Definitely! Reading will always remain part of my day!
Valerie Heck-Hoppes says
Thanks Ginny for your transparency. I look so forward to reading your post when I see it in my e-mail. Love you and your beautiful family including all the animals!
Peace and Blessings in 2023.
Val 🙂
KAde says
What a lovely little cardigan – reminds me I must dig out the one I started for my youngest (now 8!!) when she was a little one and finish it for my grand-daughter! Oh my, it is almost scary how the time flies by! I am wondering if you used wooden buttons?
Love how you express so honestly your life and times. I thank you for that as it helps me realize I am not the only one feeling so overwhelmed!!
Beautiful photographs of your little Ambrose!
All the very best for 2023!
Vicki Gensini says
Praying for you.
Jill Ruskamp says
Indeed, always begin with prayer. ♥
Let me throw in…what if the way you are living is actually okay? You are making an assumption that more order would make things easier, better, etc. What if the escape with the book is the gift to keep you afloat in this hard but beautiful season. That is what prayer often brings me to…that it is actually okay the way it is. Just thoughts. Happy New Year to you and your beautiful family!!
Ginny says
In our case, I know that we need more order! But, I also need time to escape with a book! I think there’s room for both!