These last weeks of summer, Jonny has been working on building a mobile coop for a flock of New Hampshire chicks that arrived in July while I’ve been obsessing over what linens Keats needs for college and crying every single time I think about him leaving.
Jonny, Ambrose, and I took a trip with Keats for college orientation a few weeks ago. (We were the only parents there with a baby.) While Keats was playing disc golf at a nearby course that first evening, Jonny and I explored the areas around campus. There’s a very cute neighborhood adjacent to the part of campus that is near the music school and I pretended that we could buy a house there. The whole family could simply relocate. That’s a normal thought, right? I guess that would only work until the next child is ready to leave home…so really, it wouldn’t work at all. There are so many of us! And while I am so glad for Keats to be leaving for school because I know it’s what is best for him (and college is so fun! I loved college!) the thought of one of us being far away feels unnatural. I keep telling myself I just have to get past it and I will be fine. Once he’s settled, I think I’ll stop crying. I think what makes it a little harder is knowing that I won’t hear from him much. He’s not a talker. He’s not going to call and tell me all about his classes. I’ll text and get brief replies. But then he’ll come home to visit for Thanksgiving and he’ll take his little brothers to play disc golf or go fishing and we’ll pester him for details after the little kids go to bed and maybe he’ll tell us something other than “It’s fine. It’s school.” And even if he doesn’t, everything will be okay. I can do this.
(I knit that little oak leaf on the way to orientation. When I pulled out my yarn and needles, Jonny jokingly asked me what I was knitting for him, not realizing that actually, the oak leaf was for him! I have a knitted leaf hanging from my bedside lamp, and I thought he should have one too.)
Speaking of kids growing up, Beatrix looks way too grown in this photo! I promise she doesn’t always look this old. She and Larkspur worked at a local farm over the summer and Beatrix came home with this juvenile purple martin one day. It apparently landed on her and wouldn’t fly away (I told her it was because her dress looked like a flowering shrub!) She was worried to leave it behind because of the barn cats that would have surely caught it. It was so weak, we assume from an infestation of mites, that it died later that evening before we could get it to help.
A friend gave me some green lisianthus starts this spring and they ended up being the most beautiful flowers in my garden! I love them so much.
I have finished both sleeves on Ambrose’s cardigan and am slowly knitting the body now.
Jonny and I had a fancy night out recently for the annual Mary’s Shelter soiree! Last minute, I ran inside for the camera and asked Beatrix to take our photo. She was holding Ambrose at the time and had to put him down to take the photo, so of course, he ended up in it!
The way Giuseppe straddles the back of the couch makes me laugh every time I see him doing it.
Keats and a friend played a farewell concert for the people he has been working for over the last year or so. There is a sweet little cabin on the estate where he has been a gardener of sorts and its front porch acted as a stage. It was the loveliest way for him to say both thank you and goodbye. I didn’t let anyone see me cry, but it was hard.
The day of the concert happened to be the owner’s dog, May’s, seventh birthday. She took her spot on the porch and seemed quite pleased with the whole thing as if she believed it was certainly all for her.
This very tame pea hen was begging for beak scratches throughout the concert which was very cute, but I had to hop up when she noticed my earrings and was definitely going to grab one!
And this baby pea fowl came flying through the air right at my face when I pulled out my zoom lens to take its photo. I had to quickly put the camera down and put my arm up for it to land upon. Otherwise, I think it would have landed on my camera lens if not my head! It’s being hand raised by the friend that Keats worked for and is very tame!
Keats has been supported by the kindest people over this last year as he worked to pay for his fancy viola. I’m so grateful for them all! He has a big team cheering for him as he starts his next adventure.
p.s. We started our new homeschool year this week. I hadn’t planned to start until September but decided that getting started before Keats leaves this weekend would be a good idea. I am very excited about using Into the Deep for catechesis for Silas, Job, and Mabel. Over the summer we worked through The Mass Unit Study from Into the Deep and loved it. Olivia, the creator of Into the Deep, sent me a copy of the recently released level 2 catechesis for review, and you know that I haven’t done reviews of any sort in a very long time, but I really love this and wanted to share it! It’s aimed at 4th-6th grade, but Mabel (1st grade) is participating alongside Silas and Job. Level two walks children through the story of salvation history. It’s written with homeschoolers in mind and is Charlotte Mason-inspired. It is incredibly beautiful, rich with scripture and our Catholic faith, and I can’t recommend it highly enough. It’s easy to implement (so important with a toddler in the house!) and I am so grateful to be sharing it with my children! If you’d like to see more of the inside of the book, Jenna Guizar did a really nice video review of it here.
You can get 10% off your order with the code ginny10.
p.p.s. If you are still reading this far… My favorite “Keats” posts are linked in the related post thumbnails below.
Congratulations to Keats as he has achieved his goal of studying music. Thanks for linking the posts from the past – it was fun to walk back through time! (I’ve been following along for years now.) As a violin/viola/orchestra teacher, I am thrilled for Keats to be able to pursue this wonderful career path! And I hope that there are many breath taking concerts in your future – by your son! Hugs to all of you in this time of transition.
I know you haven’t been blogging here for 20 years but I honestly feel like Keats was just a wee thing……and he’s off to college. My oldest is off to middle school this week and I’m not ready for it. I’m not sure he is either.
Ah…..I know the feeling. Couldn’t stand it, so we adopted a few more. I’m glad you have the littles to take your mind off……
Hi Ginny;
Keats wishing you a successful and happy years of college.
Beatrix is so lovely. Quite a young lady.
Have a good week.
Marion
Success and all good things to Keats as he starts his college years. Love the photo of you and Jon and of course Ambrose.
Joan
Hi Ginny, Thank you for the update. You look lovely in the photo with Jonny and Ambrose. Your new haircut is lovely. Beatrix is getting so big. She is a beautiful young lady as is Larkspur.,too. Wishing Keats a successful and happy college. God Bless you and yours.
Marilyn .
Aahh so bitter sweet. I am there with you. It is such a unique feeling to be so proud, happy and sad all at the same time. Lovely post. I am trying to start a flower farm and am endeavoring to start Lizzies from seed right now. They are so beautiful
Some things in life are such happy times and also so sad. Like a child leaving for college. It took me years to realize we can hold two very different emotions at the same time. Thanks for writing about daily things and putting our thoughts into words. It is so comforting.
Oh, Dear Mama…. You have described the feelings very well. It is sad, the way the children go away one by one. I was too busy to feel it much at the beginning, and my first ones didn’t go away, they married and stayed close — for a time. But now they are all gone Away and I still have times of heartache. Changes, always changes.
It is such a gift that there are so many of you and even a baby. That photo that Ambrose bombed is classic! Your family is a lovely collection of lights shining out and there are enough of you that the radiance won’t be diminished until such time as the next generation will be coming along and increasing it exponentially. Glory to God!
It’s so hard letting them go, allowing them to be ripped from your body, or so it feels. Before my first left for college I prepared for her leaving. I prepared for something like 3-4 years, give or take. I thought the preparing would make her leaving easier. Oh boy, I fooled myself. I told myself it would be hell when she left, but I was wrong, it was worse. I mourned and mourned. Like you, I thought of ways we could live closer. Nothing helped. We have to go through the pain, endure the deep loss with all its stages, not paddle around the muck. You have my heart squeezing for you. I can say that that same girl is 26 now and while I still wish she was here with me, she is happy and thriving. More than that, my mama heart has endured and survived it all. Like you I still have little ones at home, but every time a child leaves it changes the family dynamics and we all have to adjust. God truly is our constant, our only constant, and graveling in the mud, reaching for Jesus, is the best place I can be.
A beautiful post, as always, Ginny. I wish Keats – and you – all the very best on this part of your journey!
I know the heartache of a child going off to college, especially the quiet one. I was surprised when he did take time now and then to call or sit and talk with me about new experiences, good and bad. I didn’t think I would make it through the summer between high school and college, for heartbreak, but I did, and every holiday is precious.
I’m right there with you, Ginny, as I took my only son to college 8 hours away last week. It’s such a bittersweet time! To be so proud and thrilled yet so bereft all at once has me leaning heavily on our Father’s everlasting strength! Praying for you (and Keats)!
It’s sooo hard having them far away at college! I just said goodbye yesterday morning to my oldest. He’s 6 hours away and in his last year of school. It doesn’t get much easier. But he does call and text constantly so he spoils me. BUT my middle guy is leaving next week for freshman year, 4 hours away and sounds much like your Keats. Quiet, not much of a talker. I hope he calls his mother!!! Good luck with everything. It’s so strange when one kid isn’t there.
I understand your pain and your tears for your son’s new chapter. About 20 years ago we dropped our first born off to Moody Bible Institute in downtown Chicago. I felt like when we left he hadn’t connected with anyone and I was leaving him to fend for himself. We were both shedding a few tears as we left. Well his Dad and I ended up getting lost trying to find our way out of the city so we somehow came back to the college and met up with our son again. In that 20 minutes of getting lost we found our son had made friends and was looking happy. We were thrilled. Our tears turned to joy. Can’t wait to hear some snippets of how he is doing.
This same boy is now all grown up with a beautiful family of his own living in Green Bay, Wisconsin and loving life. He told me out of his 18 years of marriage, they have moved 9 times. I sure do miss him when I go back to Iowa.
It’s so wild to read your post about his first violin. Clearly he knew his passion. How wonderful. Wishing him all the best, and you too. It is bittersweet. I hope he surprises you with how much you get to know. My older son will text to tell me things that he might not have told me over the phone. Sometimes it’s just bits but it’s enough to have something to ask him about later. And I have noticed a shift in both of my boys from year one to two. Year one mine were still protective, but once they realize we really have let them go and are letting them do their own thing they seem to feel more comfortable sharing or asking for things.
“Stopping for cherries” is the one post that I could remember best from all of your posts (and I read them all!).
It was such an important message for me then. Today I read it again and had tears in my eyes. The same feelings came to me. Why is it so hard for me to stop once in a while? Why is it not hard at all to see (and remark on) every little detail that goes wrong in our daily life?
When (and WHY) did I decide to focus on unimportant issues to wear myself out so I would have no energy to realize potential “big” moments?
But I had those moments in the last couple of years. I am getting better at it. Thanks to you, to meditation, reading “the right” stories. I would love to be so much better. But it’s ok. This is a journey and I am on the right path, that is good enough.
But, ooh, the impatience of the heart!
Love
Isabel (from germany)