Dear friends,
I keep wanting to sit down here at my computer and write about Sarah. I want to replay the past three years and write it down so I don’t forget. But every time I start to think about it, I fall apart. I want to sit and copy and paste three years worth of emails from her into a word document, print it, and bind it. But I can’t yet.
I think I hurt a friend’s feelings yesterday because of my manner on the phone with her. I’m keeping it together right now because I have to. There are those who are suffering far more than I am. This friend commented that I was in “Admin Ginny” mode. Yes, during the day I am. At night, I sob. I hear her voice, her words to me on the telephone, just hours before I got another phone call, from another friend, telling me that Sarah was on her way to the hospital, no pulse, not breathing.
Sarah’s funeral is on Friday. Her birthday is Saturday. Last night, together with Sarah’s husband Eric, their family, and a few close friends, we planned her funeral. I’ve attended my fair share of funerals, but I’ve never played a part in planning one.
I am reading your emails, your comments, all of it. I know how hard it is to reach out to someone, especially someone you only know via the internet, at a time like this. It’s impossible to know the right thing to say, and it is brave to reach out with your words, however imperfect and inadequate they might feel. I get it. I’m with you. And your words are helping to hold me up.
Last night while we sat around the table, Sarah’s parents choosing readings for her funeral Mass, me writing them down, her younger brother was working to set up a fundraising site for the future of Sarah and Eric’s children. Their children are my children’s friends. Their future is very important to me. So, I am going to ask you to give, even it all you can share is five bucks. Eric needs our help. Sarah’s babies need us. They need strangers to do the brave thing and give, and write that they care. They don’t fully understand what has happened. They are still babies. I watched them say goodbye to their mommy, with innocent smiles on their faces. I don’t know if they noticed that all the adults in the room were crying. I helped Sarah’s oldest son, seven years old, tape a card he had made for Sarah on the wall. It simply read, “Mommy and Liam.” He had drawn two stick figures, the taller one sheltering the smaller one with her arm.
One day they will look back at this time, and they will realize that people from all over the world banded together to pray for their mommy, for their daddy, and for them. They will know that God used all of us, together, to carry them through this.
Thank you so much for caring. Thank you so much for giving.
Love,
Ginny
(photo credit Lori Elizabeth)
(photo credit Lori Elizabeth)
(photo credit Eric Harkins)
(photo credit Sarah Harkins)
(photo credit: a stranger. On our last girls’ night out together)
And finally, from that same night, a photo of my best girls taken by me:
We are praying for you and all that are grieving the loss of this beautiful woman and her unborn child.
God Bless Ginny, we are praying for you, and for Sarah’s family.
I think every mother or father reading would have tears in their eyes. I cannot imagine how her husband is doing right now trying to be the rock for his children and family. May God give him (and you all) abundant strength and peace.
In the end, this whole life is just a preparation for the next. That’s where we belong. Death is not so bad when you think of it as a “birth” into eternal life – the life we were created for. Sarah seems to me like someone who would have understood this and lived her life with this principle as the foundation. Someone once told me that God takes us at the best moment in our lives. That is a comfort to me and probably to all who grieve.
Hurting nonetheless with you for that which brings so much pain, sorrow and sighing. May her memory be eternal.
Ginny, I know your hurt is deep and your loss is great and I’m so sorry. I had the thought after reading your post that I know of no near death survivor that ever wanted to return from Heaven to be back here again. I feel that Sarah and her baby are truly happy and that the real adjustments are for all of those left here. May God bless you and yours with extra angels to comfort and heal all those hurting. Life is dear and Heaven is waiting. I donated $20 just now to do my little bit as a complete stranger. Thank you for doing this for them and for us who can now send our blessings in this way and support the family. You have such a heart and such a gift with your writing and mothering.
For Eric, for the children, for Sarah’s extended family and many friends, I pray the promise of Psalm 91:4 “He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” May the grace and peace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ be with you all, now and forever!
I don’t how I came across your blog site…but I believe it was meant to be…maybe God wanted me to pray for someone on that day…when I saw your posting about Sarah. I’ve been keeping her and her family in my prayers…I am so sad to hear about her passing. May God bless you and her family with strength to handle this time of sadness. May He give you peace knowing that God has plan for each one of her family…Keeping all of you in my prayers in this very difficult time.
Ginny, I am so very sorry to read of the passing of your dear friend Sarah . I have never met you and only ” know” of you through your words on your blog. I have not stopped thinking of you ,Sarah ,her family and above all her children. I have a pain in my belly that won’t go away thinking of the depths of their loss. May they somehow ,someday find comfort in their memories…cherish the stories shared and find love in all the beauty she brought to the world and the life she lived.
Please know that many miles away people are sending you love and strength .
Take care of each other
My heart is broken for you all. I cannot imagine losing a friend such as you have. I cannot imagine how her husband must feel and how he can explain to children who are asking for their Mommy. God sees and He cares. Hugs.
Dear Ginny,
My tears flow and my heart breaks. Such a tragedy! I am so, so sorry. I’m praying for you and all of your families…May His peace and comfort surround your hearts. I’m thankful that God knits together the hearts of those who love Him.
Love, Tanya
I am so sorry for your loss Ginny and for that sweet family’s loss. I am saying prayers and sending hugs. xxxooo
I’m so sorry Ginny for your incredible loss and for all of her family’s loss too. I can’t even imagine what you all are going through. I didn’t know Sarah, but remember seeing her and Eric at FUS, since I graduated with them. My heart breaks for you all especially her children. I have been offering up prayers for Eric and their children. May Our Lord and our Blessed Mother comfort you all during this time.
I am so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you & Sarah’s family.
This family has been on my mind ever since you first posted about them. My heart is broken for them. I will be praying for you all. And spreading the word about fund raising efforts. I’m so sorry Ginny.
Try not to worry about hurt feelings and such right now. Everyone is grieving, and people express that it different ways: sadness, anger, numbness, efficiency, inefficiency, etc. No way is wrong, but it may not be the best for someone else, and so misunderstandings are possible. As the grief improves, all that will become clearer. You are doing very well in a very difficult situation. My prayers for you all
My comfort in loosing a loved one, is thinking of the angels coming to escort them home.
So sorry for your loss. It is just crushing.
I am praying God gives you and her dear, sweet family peace that passes understanding.
Ginny, Thank you for writing this for her children. I gave. I’m crying. Her story has stopped me in my tracks. It’s reminded me how blessed we are to be mothers, to have best friends and that life is so fragile. Continue to write about Sarah, even privately. It may help. May peace be with you and your loved ones, Ginny.
Dear Ginny,
Mass will be offered for your dear Sarah’s soul tomorrow by my brother who is at the moment up in the Yukon Territory. I am glad you wrote this heart felt letter. It is true for me that it feels so uncomfortable to be connected to like minded persons through the internet and to care- but to have no ‘real’ relationship leaves me feeling like my care doesn’t actually matter. Your letter reached out and helped with this reality that comes with blogging. Our family will give to the site to help Sarah’s husband and her babies. Will keep you & your family in my prayers through these devastating days. The loss is unimaginable.
Sarah in st louis
Ginny,
I will be praying for you, Eric, Sarah’s children, all her loved ones.
Her rosary beads were beautiful. Do you know if there are any rosaries that have been made already? Or could be made out of beads she’s already done? Maybe this would be another way of raising funds for the children. I would love to buy some, in addition to donating through the website.
I am so sorry for your loss. I didn’t know Sarah, but “got to know” her through many friends in the Fredericksburg area Catholic community and Mary’s Shelter. She sounded like an amazing person. I’ve kept her and her family in my prayers, and will continue to pray for them. Hugs to you if you don’t mind virtual stranger hugs.
Prayers for you, Ginny, as well as for Sarah’s soul, and for her family. Her tragic death is so incredibly sad. But, helping to plan for her Requiem Mass is a beautiful gift to her.
There’s nothing I can add that others haven’t said. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend.
I’m just so sorry. For you, for her family, for those of us that didn’t know Sarah but have been so moved this week. I have no idea what to do or say, but this has really touched me. Really very sorry. Bake xoxo
I am so sorry, Ginny. I’ve been unabashadly tearfully praying since your first post about your dear friend. Years ago I attended a memorial service where many religious leaders spoke. One, a rabbi, said that every tear we shed for someone created a pearl on their pathway into heaven. What a beautiful thought – that Sarah was greated by our precious Saviour on an endless, glittering pathway of pearls. Blessings to you and to all those who love her.
I’m so sorry.
I am so sorry. I don’t know what more to say, I feel sick to my stomach that this has even happened. Rest in peace much-loved Sarah xxx
I´m so sorry
I would like to writte something encouragement….but my english is not so good…
I don’t have the words to say how sorry I am about you losing your friend so young and the family – their wife and mother. God and His grace are the only ways to get through life’s most difficult moments. I care. I pray for you and your family as well. Blessings to you…
I am sure that you are doing what you can right now in the best way that you know how to. I go into admin mode as well in a crisis, in fact I always feel that I am better in a crisis when I actually have something to get on with and do. It is as you describe those times at night and so on when there is nothing that you can “do” that I too fall apart. I can hold it together when I am doing, but I lose it when I am not occupied. So don’t worry about that, you have much more and much bigger things to worry about. Take care and I am sure that you will do the best for your friend. xx
Although I didn’t know Sarah personnaly- to read this post and think about her children and husband made me cry… They will be in my thoughts.
Oh Ginny, praying for you all at this sad and hard time, and sending hugs across the miles. I pray that our awesome God’s love will surround you and comfort you all. Love Gilly xxxx
We are praying every day for their family.
Love love love to you dear Ginny. There are no words. Massive hugs xxxxx
Thinking of you and Sarah’s family a lot.
Keep going, Ginny. Keep going, keep going.
I can’t even imagine how tough it is, and how you must be hurting. I pray that you can hold on and keep going – and her family, too.
Much love from the Netherlands.
I have give for help this sweet family, it’s so sad…. LOVE
http://theclayrosarygirl.blogspot.com/2011/11/lot-of-saints.html?m=1
This post WRITTEN BY SARAH HARKINS on her blog… to think she is with those “friends” now and cheering on us on from the other side. Hugs to you Ginny, my sister in Christ.
Hi Ginny. Thank you for this. It’s beyond generous in your grief. I’ve been so sad and struggling with anger over Sarah’s sudden death. Just now I looked up the reasons for today and they, as the Holy Spirit would have it, were helpful. I’ll share them and please know of my family’s prayer for her and her family and all of you close to Sarah. Blessings.
Wednesday of the Seventeenth Week in Ordinary Time Lectionary: 403
Reading 1 jer 15:10, 16-21
Woe to me, mother, that you gave me birth! a man of strife and contention to all the land! I neither borrow nor lend, yet all curse me. When I found your words, I devoured them; they became my joy and the happiness of my heart, Because I bore your name, O LORD, God of hosts. I did not sit celebrating in the circle of merrymakers; Under the weight of your hand I sat alone because you filled me with indignation. Why is my pain continuous, my wound incurable, refusing to be healed? You have indeed become for me a treacherous brook, whose waters do not abide! Thus the LORD answered me: If you repent, so that I restore you, in my presence you shall stand; If you bring forth the precious without the vile, you shall be my mouthpiece. Then it shall be they who turn to you, and you shall not turn to them; And I will make you toward this people a solid wall of brass. Though they fight against you, they shall not prevail, For I am with you, to deliver and rescue you, says the LORD. I will free you from the hand of the wicked, and rescue you from the grasp of the violent.
Responsorial Psalm ps 59:2-3, 4, 10-11, 17, 18
R. (17d) God is my refuge on the day of distress. Rescue me from my enemies, O my God; from my adversaries defend me. Rescue me from evildoers; from bloodthirsty men save me. R. God is my refuge on the day of distress. For behold, they lie in wait for my life; mighty men come together against me, Not for any offense or sin of mine, O LORD. R. God is my refuge on the day of distress. O my strength! for you I watch; for you, O God, are my stronghold, As for my God, may his mercy go before me; may he show me the fall of my foes. R. God is my refuge on the day of distress. But I will sing of your strength and revel at dawn in your mercy; You have been my stronghold, my refuge in the day of distress. R. God is my refuge on the day of distress. O my strength! your praise will I sing; for you, O God, are my stronghold, my merciful God! R. God is my refuge on the day of distress.
Gospel mt 13:44-46
Jesus said to his disciples: “The Kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field, which a person finds and hides again, and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. Again, the Kingdom of heaven is like a merchant searching for fine pearls. When he finds a pearl of great price, he goes and sells all that he has and buys it.”
I’m so sorry, so sorry, for your and their loss. Things are tight for us, but we’d like to be able to give, so we’ll give what we can.
In an odd, sad, coincidence, a dear friend of mine e-mailed with a prayer request about Sarah, shortly after I read about her here and at Elizabeth Foss’ blog. My friend’s niece, Jolene, was friends with Sarah, so perhaps you know Jolene, or have met her. In any case, lots of people here were praying and are praying for Sarah, Cecilia and their family.
Holding you all in my heart and in my prayers.
Sending you love.
He is near…he will care for your broken hearts.
There aren’t words, especially when so sudden and tragic. So faithful in her life, a gift to so many. Praying for you, her family, and Eric. And those that love all of you on this crazy journey of grief and loss. And pray that Our Mother, holds those babies of hers so closely that they can tangibly feel it as their own momma is nt there.. Prayers for all.
I’m so sorry for your loss, you all are in my prayers.
How beautiful these pictures are – and important. These seemingly simple moments like the ones with our lady friends, that might not have been captured, are now treasures. It is a testament to me how important all our moments are and to cherish them and those around us.
I offer my condolences, and sincere sorrow at Sarah’s passing. It is not a story easy to ignore or forget – it stays with you. I continue to pray, and those moments when a grumble comes to my lips about this and that chore, I remind myself how grateful I am to be enjoying the hum-drum of the day with my family – I make it a small offering for Sarah’s family.
Dear Ginny,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. I am thinking and praying for you and for her family.
Debi
I’ve been thinking of you all day, Ginny, you and Sarah and her family. I am so, so sorry for your loss, and for theirs. I’ll be holding you all close in my heart in these difficult days to come. xoxo
praying for you and Sarah’s family
Love and strength to you, Ginny. My heart is with you all.
+ Dear Ginny, I have been a reader of your blog for sometime, although I don’t think I’ve ever commented. I am praying for your loss, for Sarah’s husband and children. I feel physically sick–but keep thinking of St. Therese, and all of the beauty and wisdom and grace that God gave us through her, in spite of and in some ways because of her incredible mother’s passing at a young age. I am praying for the consolation of the Spirit of Love, and for the faith to endure this terrible storm, trusting that the Lord is there in the boat of your heart, to bring peace and healing, until He brings us to His resurrection. May Mother Mary be with you all…
I have been thinking about this beautiful woman since you posted the other day. I am so sad for Eric and their children. What a sudden heartache. I have a feeling it will continue to unfold as the days wear on 🙁 There will be layers of grief. Praying that Jesus meets the needs at each twist of pain and each groan during the mourning. He is a mighty comforter and is perhaps dancing with this dear woman in the meadows of heaven. I’m so sad for your loss and my heart is very touched by the finiteness of this human life. Oh, that I would learn to live with gratitude and graciousness!
Praying for you, your family, Sarah’s family and for the reposed soul of Sarah. May the peace that surpasses understanding be with you all.
I held it together until you wrote about her children saying goodbye. There are such random things that happen. That we can’t fathom why. Or how. I just can’t imagine the void of a mommy gone when so young. Please give them all a hug for us all. I’m so sorry for your loss.