Dear friends,
I keep wanting to sit down here at my computer and write about Sarah. I want to replay the past three years and write it down so I don’t forget. But every time I start to think about it, I fall apart. I want to sit and copy and paste three years worth of emails from her into a word document, print it, and bind it. But I can’t yet.
I think I hurt a friend’s feelings yesterday because of my manner on the phone with her. I’m keeping it together right now because I have to. There are those who are suffering far more than I am. This friend commented that I was in “Admin Ginny” mode. Yes, during the day I am. At night, I sob. I hear her voice, her words to me on the telephone, just hours before I got another phone call, from another friend, telling me that Sarah was on her way to the hospital, no pulse, not breathing.
Sarah’s funeral is on Friday. Her birthday is Saturday. Last night, together with Sarah’s husband Eric, their family, and a few close friends, we planned her funeral. I’ve attended my fair share of funerals, but I’ve never played a part in planning one.
I am reading your emails, your comments, all of it. I know how hard it is to reach out to someone, especially someone you only know via the internet, at a time like this. It’s impossible to know the right thing to say, and it is brave to reach out with your words, however imperfect and inadequate they might feel. I get it. I’m with you. And your words are helping to hold me up.
Last night while we sat around the table, Sarah’s parents choosing readings for her funeral Mass, me writing them down, her younger brother was working to set up a fundraising site for the future of Sarah and Eric’s children. Their children are my children’s friends. Their future is very important to me. So, I am going to ask you to give, even it all you can share is five bucks. Eric needs our help. Sarah’s babies need us. They need strangers to do the brave thing and give, and write that they care. They don’t fully understand what has happened. They are still babies. I watched them say goodbye to their mommy, with innocent smiles on their faces. I don’t know if they noticed that all the adults in the room were crying. I helped Sarah’s oldest son, seven years old, tape a card he had made for Sarah on the wall. It simply read, “Mommy and Liam.” He had drawn two stick figures, the taller one sheltering the smaller one with her arm.
One day they will look back at this time, and they will realize that people from all over the world banded together to pray for their mommy, for their daddy, and for them. They will know that God used all of us, together, to carry them through this.
Thank you so much for caring. Thank you so much for giving.
Love,
Ginny
(photo credit Lori Elizabeth)
(photo credit Lori Elizabeth)
(photo credit Eric Harkins)
(photo credit Sarah Harkins)
(photo credit: a stranger. On our last girls’ night out together)
And finally, from that same night, a photo of my best girls taken by me:
This is such a horrible tragedy. Sending so many prayers to all those who feel the pain of her loss, especially her husband and children.
Ginny, I am so sorry for your loss. My mind can not stop thinking of Sarah and her family. I will be praying for her sweet babies, parents, and husband. May God grant you the peace that surpasses all understanding and may you feel firmly held in His grip as you grieve.
Ginny, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. My mind can not stop thinking of Sarah and her family. Her sweet babies, parents, and husband will be my prayers. Praying for you to have the peace that surpasses all understanding and that you feel God’s firm grip as He holds you while you grieve.
Heartbroken for you and for this family. Thank you for using this forum to give us a space to grieve and support.
Praying for the family. I’m not sure I understood the meaning of “burying the dead” as an act of mercy until I had to do it for a family friend, who had no family of his own. The expense. Dear God, it should not be so complicated or expensive. In the end we had to cremate. It was heartbreaking, but it allowed us to have the remains interred in the Catholic cemetery (the baby section, which was appropriate due to this devout man’s dedication to the unborn and the pro-life movement). Still, ridiculously difficult. I read the story and could not help but remember that we know neither the hour nor the day.
I’m so sorry.
Such a lot raised so far for those babies. My thoughts continue to be with you all x
((hugs))) you are right no one knows what to say at such a sad time like this. Life is just not fair at times. Not fair at all.
Love Leanne NZ
Sending you wishes of peace and comfort.
I’m so sorry for all of you, Ginny. This world seems to have lost a wonderful person. I hope you can find a little comfort in remembering her, later.
She shared her birthday with one of my son. I will think of her Saturday.
Sending you lots of love and lights.
Oh Ginny, I am so very very sorry. Those poor sweet babies! We will continue to pray!
oh my goodness. I can’t stop thinking about this. About her family. About yours. You are all in my thoughts. I shared this post with my group of best Mama friends. We are all circling around you all, with love and strength. Many heartfelt hugs and prayers Ginny.
Summer
I’m just so sorry. I have been, and will continue to pray for all.
Praying for you & her family. I can’t even imagine. May Christ have mercy.
This
I’m so very, very sorry Ginny! I wish there was something I could do to help more. Much love and prayers to you, Jonny, your sweet babies and Sarah’s family.
Oh, Ginny. Oh, oh, oh. Words fail me. Because what can I say? Nothing helps. Nothing can soften this. Just know that we are here with you – with her children, with her husband, with her friends and family and community. There is a circle of light and love reaching far beyond your town and faith sending blessings and prayers of every sort. I am lighting a candle tonight. For Sarah.
Love,
Rachel
Ginny- I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am. Sarah and her family have been on my mind and in my prayers since you first posted. I will continue to lift you up to our mighty God. I pray the peace of Jesus will be with you and every one who knew Sarah.
I have not been able to stop thinking of you all since your first post. I cannot imagine losing a friend so suddenly, or leaving my dear husband and sweet babies without a wife and mother. My prayers are with you and her family for peace and comfort during this difficult time.
Ginny, since your first status on fb about Sarah, I’d been praying and hoping for a miracle. And then there was the tragic news. All this while holding my newborn baby boy in my arms and crying for a woman I’ve never met but can’t stop thinking about. My worst fear is leaving my young children motherless. It just breaks my heart to even think about. I can’t even imagine what her family is going through right now but I pray that God gives you all strength to get through these next few days and the many many hard days to come. May He provide comfort, even in the smallest ways, even for a short time to give you some refuge from the pain. I’ll be holding my little ones closer and thankIng God harder for the blessing of my time with them…something that we sometimes take for granted but that is a true gift. From my Mother’s heart to yours.
Jess, I could not have said it better. I feel exactly the same way.
Dear Ginny! Thank you for what you wrote! I have been praying constantly for all of you so close to Sarah and her family. I literally could not stop weeping yesterday—and I didn’t even know Sarah. But her blog and story moved me so deeply, I felt so connected to her. And how fitting that the day she passed was the feast of Saint Martha! I was so touched and drawn to this situation, I wrote a post on my own blog and I linked up to your posts as well as the funding sites. I hope I can help what little bit I can virtually, but spiritually please know you are all in my prayers! http://athimons.com/2014/07/30/my-heart-cant-stop-crying/
Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for us!
Ginny, there are hardly words to express my sadness for you and all of Sarah’s loved ones. You are all in my prayers. I will light a candle for Sarah and her unborn child this weekend at church.
My heart just breaks for Sarah’s family. Our children are all the same ages, but off by one year. I had my fifth child nine months ago. We also Homeschool and seem to share similar interests. I just cannot imagine a family having to go through this. I will remember them all in my prayers. Lord have mercy on you all as you greive.
My heart aches for you and her family…prayers are constant…XO
I honestly do not know what to say. I lost a brother and the ache in my heart was indescribable. Know that time and God’s beautiful grace, allows healing. There are times when you will smile and even laugh at those precious memories. There are times that you’ll go weak in the knees from pain. I will pray for you my sister in Christ, so that those moments may be bearable. I will offer prayers for Eric and those beautiful babies. I will also pray for all who loved Sarah and baby Cecilia. May God’s love get you through this difficult time.
Oh my goodness, Ginny, I am so so so very sorry. And you are so right, none of us do or know what is the right thing to say….my wonderful sister-in-law lost her battle with cancer when her son was barely 6-years-old. I was in that room when he said goodbye and I thought I was literally going to just melt into the floor I was so affected & just plain old sad. Sad. Just kick-you-in-the-gut, slap-your-face-and-it-won’t-be-real-anymore sad. I still weep eight years later when I think about that moment. When I think about the moment I said goodbye. How do you do that? I guess you just do and then you just do the next thing and the next thing and the next thing and you live your life as best you can because s/he, your wonderful friend, can’t do it anymore–that seems to be what happened to me…but I still get crazy mad sometimes about the whole thing. Hugs and more hugs through the virtual miles to your family and to hers. Her beautiful, beautiful family. xx
Ginny, I know of you through Ann Voskamp’s blog, and although I don’t know you personally, I am touched by your loss. It is palpable to me since I have lost a sister, brother, and father at this point in life…I have some idea of the utter shock that exhists right along side with the knowing that a horrible thing has happened, the grief, the fatigue. I had followed your updates and hoped, along with you, for a different outcome for your friend.
You are in my prayers as you help Sarah’s family take this sad, but precious, time to honor her. And, of course, will be praying for Sarah’s family as well.
Praying for you all.
Oh Ginny I am crying for a friend I never got to meet. I made a small donation. I wish I could give more. She was younger than me by a few months. Why does that that make it hurt even more. Today we passed a tow truck with an ice cream truck. My 5 year old said “Mommy that ice cream truck died so kids in Heaven could have ice cream too.” Sometimes Heaven needs mommies too. I just wish they they could all stay here with us. I know the courage it took for you to write this and I want you to know we are grieving with you.
Ginny, so sorry for your loss. It’s so hard to lose a friend who only hours before had been just fine, laughing and smiling. Raising her children, caring for her husband. Doing all those things that all of us take for granted. Hang in there and know that I’m thinking about you. I’m going to Saturday vigil Mass and will light a candle for you and for Sarah’s family. –Marj
I’m so sorry for your loss, dear Ginny. Your family and Sarah’s family remain in my prayers. I’m here for you if you need me.
You’re right about not knowing what to say. I don’t know what words of comfort I could share that would make any difference. My heart aches for those beautiful children, her husband and of course, her family and friends. Thank you for sharing, even though it’s hard. Just being able to pray for all of them and contribute a little is something small to do in her memory. I hope that the family receives more blessings than they can count in the coming years. I’m very sorry for your great loss. Love and prayers, Jenifer
God our Father,
Your power brings us to birth,
Your providence guides our lives,
and by Your command we return to dust.
Lord, those who die still live in Your presence,
their lives change but do not end.
I pray in hope for Sarah’s family,
relatives and friends,
and for all the dead known to You alone.
In company with Christ,
Who died and now lives,
may they rejoice in Your kingdom,
where all our tears are wiped away.
Unite us together again in one family,
to sing Your praise forever and ever.
Amen.
Ginny, i am so sorry.
Thank you for sharing. My family from far away has been thinking of Sarah and her family all week. Our prayers are with her, her family, and all of you. Thank you for letting us know a tangible way that we can help her children and husband.
This breaks my heart, and I’m so so sorry for your loss, and for Sarah’s husband and children. Memory eternal to Sarah, and peace to you as you all walk this road of grief together.
So heartbreaking. Thinking of all of Sarah’s family and friends. Peace be with you.
I have no words except to say how sorry I am for your loss. I am praying for Sarah’s family, you and your family and all those who are missing her and especially for Sarah and little Cecilia. Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.
Ginny,
My heart is heavy and words seem inadequate. I ask Our Lady to shelter us all, those just touched by Sarah and those that have cherished her a longtime. Thank you for sharing. I hope and pray for Sarah to intercede for us all. God Bless you and Our Loving Father shelter you.
I am friends with Sarah and her family too. I met Sarah when she was a teen (I’m a lot older than her!) To watch her grow into the beautiful lady she became was a gift. To go from the daughter of my friends, to a woman I call friend, is really special. Her life and faith was inspiring and so filled with love that I cannot even imagine the good she is doing in heaven already. What a party her birthday will be in heaven.
My daily Divine Mercy quote was this today in my inbox:
He is bringing me to understand deeply how everything depends on His will, and how He allows certain difficulties precisely for our merit, so that our fidelity might be clearly manifest. And through this, I have been given strength for suffering and self-denial (Diary, 1409)
“He allows certain difficulties precisely for OUR MERIT…” (my emphasis)
I can’t help but wonder “why?” and ask “why?” I’ve even wondered “Why not them?” but the only answer I get is they are not ready yet. Sarah’s soul was ready for God, He needed her. AND that the good, all the hundereds, even thousands of people that have been praying for her and her family….that is more good than the evil here, right? It has to be.
Oh, I’m bawling…this probably doesn’t make sense. I so wish we could be there at the funeral.
My husband gets paid next Wednesday and we were wondering if we could still donate then?
I’ve only been thinking of her and her family (and I guess, myself) but not really the friends she’s leaving behind. I will be praying for all of you.
God bless you Ginny
I forgot to add, I am thankful you are there for her family. What a gift you are to them. Thank you.
Sarah and her family has been in my prayers and thoughts so continually since I saw your first post on facebook. Your description of her children’s innocent goodbyes has me choking back sobs. I just lost a friend too early this summer and although it wasn’t this sudden, it was pretty sudden: she was gone three weeks after her first cancer diagnosis. That sudden searing loss and grief for her children and husband. I am praying for you, too. Oh my. I am praying too.
I am wrapping Sarah’s family and yours in prayer. May Our Blessed Mother wrap her mantle around all of you.
Ginny, my prayers are with all of you and especially Sarah’s family. I can’t even begin to imagine the heartbreak surrounding so many people.
I am so sorry for all of you in your loss. Praying that the Lord would continue to hold all of you up.
I can’t tell you how sorry I am. How much the first FB announcement of her in crisis made me without breath, the horror of the tragedy of her sudden illness. How I have candles lit for her, for her family, for you day and night now. I have once been around a family that was close to me years ago when they were planning the funeral, picking photos, seeing the children of the mother who then almost 20 years ago who were where you are now. We do care. I see it; the Christian community is surrounding this family in prayer. T he yarn alongers who are in my feed are posting today yes what they did but also how they are praying for you, for Sarah’s family. I read in a book I am reading on Elder now St. Porphyrios who told a Mother (who was in a health crisis) that God loves her children more than the Mother can; we do not at all understand this sudden shocking loss of a woman who clearly loves God and her children. But I stake my life on the fact that God deeply deeply loves these children orphaned suddenly of their Mother and that He is not far from the grieving father and her family and friends. One of the candles lit for you all is a 4 day candle that I will switch out soon and it is in front of the Icon of the Mother of God Joy of All Who Sorrow. I will keep asking prayers for you all.
I’m still praying Ginny and won’t stop. Much love to all of you.
Ginny, I am so very very sorry. A friend told me the other day that Sarah and I lived in the same dorm at FUS while we were there, though I never knew her personally. Even that small thread of a connection increases the bond and my heartache for their family…I can’t even imagine what you then must be going through. I’m praying for all of you.
There is another site fundraising for them through gofundme…is either one okay to donate to? I already did through the other but I hope that was the “right” one.
Ginny,
My heart is just breaking for all of you & most especially for Eric & the children. I did not know Sarah well, but we spent a whole year together in co-op pre-K class so we had some amazing talks. I’d like to hope that she considered me a friend & I, for sure, considered her a friend. After reading some of her blogs, I realize know how much I missed by not reaching out to her more. I always knew she was a remarkable lady, so loving to the children & I was so amazed by the work she did with them in the class. Little did I realize just how holy & insightful she was. She is greatly missed by those of us that barely knew her, so I can not even imagine the pain you & the rest of “the girls” are going through right now. Please know that even though we have spent little to no time in each other’s physical presence, I dearly love you & am praying for you & all of Sarah’s family & friends. I wish there was more I could do for all of you!
God bless you,
Cari
So much love to you Ginny. I am always one to say the wrong thing so I haven’t said much but please know your family has been in our prayers along with Sarah. I can only imagine what you are going through.
Praying, Ginny — heart with you and praying for you and Jonny and Sarah’s family….
Ginny…I have not stopped thinking about Sarah and her family and friends and those touched by her…or you…I am so close to you in location, but I only know you through your blog and FB…I wish I could do more to help you being so close…yet in a way, so far away…hugs and prayers continue for all of you…