The walk to find the winterberries, deep in the swampy part of the woods, was my idea. In fact, I insisted they come with me. It was late afternoon and there wasn’t much daylight left. Once we arrived, it took Beatrix and her machete to penetrate the fortress of greenbrier in order to reach the red berries. Once through, Mabel was quick to climb a small tree and ask me to take her picture. Then she was back down and crawling under the shrubs, calling Ambrose to join her. She moves so fast. I was snapping photos, my back turned, when I heard the crash and Mabel’s cry. She had climbed back into the same small tree and then fallen. Faster to react, Beatrix was there in an instant, trying to help her up. Mabel was crying out as she has since she was a tiny child, “I’m okay! I’m okay!” But I knew that she wasn’t. I had never heard that kind of pain in her voice before. Her arm was seriously injured, it was getting dark, and we were far from home. Beatrix carried Mabel all the way back and mostly uphill, and I carried Ambrose along with the heavy weight of remorse.
Jonny and Beatrix took Mabel to the urgent care clinic closest to our house only to be told they couldn’t x-ray her. Things were kind of crazy as I was texting with our pediatrician while looking up clinics online, with Jonny on the phone waiting to be told where to go next. He finally found a clinic that could x-ray Mabel’s arm and made it there less than ten minutes before closing time. X-rays showed an uncomplicated fracture to her humerus near the elbow. She was splinted and we were told to follow up with ortho the following week. Tuesday morning, Mabel and I arrived at her appointment expecting her to get a cast and be sent home. The physician’s assistant had some concerns after looking at her x-rays and sent them to a pediatric specialist who called him within minutes and said that she needed an operation and he wanted to do it the following day. I was not expecting that! I held my tears and we headed home to prepare to drive to Richmond (a little over an hour from home) to meet with the surgeon that afternoon. That appointment felt chaotic as Jonny and I both wanted to be there and we brought Ambrose along as well (hence, the chaos). Mabel was in good spirits, and I should add that she has been since getting her arm splinted that first night. She has always been a tough kid. After looking at Mabel’s x-rays again, the surgeon told us someone would be calling us the following day with an estimate and date for the surgery, with him operating before the end of the week.
We’re in a tough spot right now, leaving our healthshare of five years because of difficulty getting them to share into our medical bills for the past year and a half, and without traditional health insurance beginning until January 1st. Another huge bill in addition to the thousands of dollars we already have in medical bills (some in collections) felt like a blow on top of the anxiety surrounding Mabel being hurt and the thought of her having surgery (and all because I insisted we go find those winterberries.)
Two of my friends recommended that we see an orthopedist at another practice, also in Richmond. I didn’t contact them initially because we were funneled towards the other hospital in a series of referrals and I just wanted to get things taken care of quickly. However, one of those friends had just been through a similar break with her young son and she highly recommended the surgeon, Dr. H, who operated on him. This practice is also affiliated with the Catholic hospital. So while I waited on Wednesday for the call to schedule surgery at hospital #1, I called the other practice just to see if there were any available appointments with Dr. H. I believed that surgery was inevitable, but decided it was a good idea to get a second opinion, and also thought that it might be less expensive at the Catholic hospital based on their self pay policies. They had an available appointment with Dr. H the following day. I felt such peace after getting that scheduled.
Mabel and I headed back to Richmond the following day, she insisting we blast the CD from last summer’s vacation Bible school. I offered up my suffering for Mabel’s healing. I’m only half-kidding. That music haunts even my dreams. Anyway, we made it to the appointment and sat in the exam room working on one of those sticker books where you make big-eyed sticker faces on puppies and kittens while the doctor reviewed Mabel’s x-rays. He walked into the room and after introducing himself, his first words were, “It’s a close call, but I think we can avoid surgery.” Having mentally prepared for surgery at this point, I was not expecting that at all!!! He explained his take on things and then took another x-ray just to see if anything had moved in the six days since the break. Thankfully, the x-ray was unchanged. He had Mabel’s arm put in a cast and said he wanted to repeat x-rays in a week to make sure nothing moves. If anything shifts between now and this Thursday, he will operate on her on Friday, but he doesn’t expect that to happen. I’m praying hard while also trying to stay prepared for the possibility of surgery 3 days before Christmas. Mabel loves her rainbow tie-dye cast and doesn’t seem worried either way.
A few weeks ago, in a homily, our pastor spoke about people’s tendency to choose to wander in the desert rather than walking towards the light. I thought of how well that described where I’ve been the past few months. I’ve really let the situation with our healthshare and medical bills dominate my thoughts and my mental state. On the one hand, I’ve had no choice but to deal with it and that has meant making the stressful phone calls to billing departments and debt collectors, filing a report with the Better Business Bureau, and talking to other people in the same boat for advice. But, I’ve let the situation have too much power over my mental health, rather than taking the necessary steps and then surrendering the outcome to God, knowing that I am promised that all will work out for our good. My brain loves to worry despite the futility of it.
I really want to learn to separate the bad from the good: as in deal with the bad as is necessary without letting it cast such a shadow over all that is good.
But seriously, how does one ever allow their children to climb trees again? I guess we did make it through 23 years of parenting without a broken bone and not for lack of tree climbing.
p.s. Since I filed a complaint with the BBB, our healthshare has supposedly mailed out checks for most of the bills that they were supposed to share into. The biggest ones, all associated with a ridiculously over-priced outpatient procedure are our main concern. If you could offer a prayer that they get sorted out and don’t require a five year payment plan on our part, I would really appreciate it! But most importantly, please pray that poor Mabel doesn’t have to have surgery this week! I do feel surrendered to the possible additional debt, but I sure would hate it for her. If you have been considering a healthshare and find my post alarming, just be careful who you sign up with. I can recommend Samaritan Ministries and wish we had joined them five years ago.
p.p.s. Thanks for all of your orders! My shop is almost sold out, but there is one cherry cutting board left and I will leave chrism salve on sale for another week or so or until I sell out. There are also a very limited number of my new vanilla bean infused lip balms available. I plan to do a larger launch of these in the new year!
Good healing for Mabel and lots of good thoughts to your beautiful and caring big girl Beatrix, who seems ever so patient with her younger siblings. And her beautiful red hair Too.
Merry x-mas to all.
Praying for you. So glad you got that second opinion! Merry Christmas!
I am praising God for all of it! Will pray for NO surgery for Mabel. I can identify with so much of what was in your post. I surrender it all and then i take back! I want to trust Him for it all, but I am weak but i know when “im weak He is strong”!!! Will look for update and keep your family in my prayers.
I do hope you post an update on Mabel when you have it! We are low-income family of 7 so I understand the financial constraints. My husband regularly debates finding another job but his is so important and he loves it. A out 6 weeks ago we seriously discussed him switching departments at the very least and in the next week God provided random things we needed but hadn’t asked Him for every. single. day. His message was clear, “Stay the course and trust me. I want things to be this way for now. I’ll take care of you.”
It’s so hard sometimes. And I had just said so to a friend whend I read this post. Another reminder from Him of his provision and protection. Thanks for sharing your life story!
I will be thinking of you and your family this Christmas. It will all work out in the end but it can be hellish having to wade through it all. May peace be with you.
Olivia
Praying for financial provision, but most of all for miraculous healing for Mabel!
It seems that all of the comments are echoing my thoughts for Mabel and for you Ginny. Remember that when we look around all we see is difficulties. When we look up we see Jesus! Has he ever let you down? That’s what I remind myself about when I think “this is a real problem.” Is anything too difficult for the Lord?
May Mabel’s fracture heal without surgical intervention. May your health care bills be resolved in a timely manner.
God bless you and may you have a joyous Christmas.
Love, Barbara
Always good to have a second opinion . . praying that Mabel heals well and there is no surgery! And sending you a big hug and prayers for peace of mind. I work on that every day too. Love to you Ginny xoxoxo
Praying for Mabel and for all of you, Ginny. Keep us posted. And I do thank you for your clarification about Samaritan Ministries, because it was kind of “alarming,” as you said, before you clarified, lol. God bless you all and Merry Christmas!
Oh my!!! Holding sweet Mabel and your entire family in my prayers 🙏 Yes, Samaritan Ministries is great. I’m very thankful for them.
Praying for you in this trial. We often struggle with similar circumstances (financial) and it keeps us humble and aware daily of our dependence. He always comes through, He ALWAYS comes through with provision. He will for you too, and I’m praying it comes in sweet, tender, abundant ways even this week before Christmas as a little Christmas gift to you all. Sending love and a virtual hug!
Praying for you and Mabel! I am so sorry. We used Samaritans Ministries and can also vouch for them. I don’t know if you have any Direct Primary Care doctors in your area but it might be worth looking into. They work really well together with the Samaritans health share. My husband is one. He has a private practice in our town that is run by a membership instead of insurance. He is on call for after hours emergencies and saves people most er trips as part of the membership. He has a black bag and all and does house calls as needed, including newborn visits. I think a doctor like this would help save y’all some medical expenses. It’s just crazy what they charge and how they treat people!
*they= the medical system
Hello Ginny, praying for you and your family. To help Mabel bone to heal faster, there is a supplement called Bone Up by Jarrow, it helps speed up healing ( personal experience) . Hugs.
Ginny, so sorry to hear of Mable’s broken arm. I broke the bottom tip of my femur last year and I so understand her dilemma. Luckily, I did not need a cast and was able to wear a foot boot instead. Prayers are sent your way for healing of Mable’s arm and also for the resolve of your associated healthcare bills. “Pray, Hope, & Don’t Worry” is a print-out that I have hanging next to my computer desk. I do Pray and Hope but, unfortunately, I still do worry about many things. Hang in there and Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Dear Ginny, I am so sorry about Mabel’s arm and the medical insurance billing woes. Carrying that sort of mental worry burden is heavy. The daily anxiety over finances is wearying, indeed. Praying for your daughter’s steady healing, and for your peace of mind, and for the Light of Christ to lessen the weight of it all as you wend your way through this thicket! 🕊
Hi Ginny, I comment rarely but always look forward to your posts & very much enjoy reading each one :). Prayers for Mabel that she can avoid surgery & for you & Jonny as you navigate through the medical expenses that you have. I pray that it will be resolved quickly & that you will be blessed with an answer to prayer. I understand how difficult it is to give your worries over to God. It’s easy to say & for others to say it but it is difficult to do. However I know that God’s peace is a great gift when I do surrender my worries to him. We own a business & it is a constant source of worry but I must rest assured that God will continue to provide for us in ways that He has for the past 8 years of us owning it. I hope that you & your family have a wonderful Christmas together. May God bless you in the New Year.
Hello, I have been a “silent reader” for many years now and I do love your blog!
So sorry to hear about your problems with healthcare. I am from Germany and social security (esp. health insurance) takes care for all these predicaments, you pay a monthly fee which is deductated from your wage (really not bad, children are insured via the parents), your company / boss pays the other half, and that is from day one of your employment. No bills have to be paid, you just visit a doctor or go to the hospital. I know, this is a political question but maybe worth thinking about….
Sending prayers for a speedy easy recovery and lots of luck your way regarding the bills!!! Beatrix’s hair looks stunning!!!
Take care!!!
I will gladly pray for Mabel and all your intentions. I will also pray that you are able to receive the gifts and graces He wants to pour out on you. That has been my prayer for so many people lately including myself. It seems we pray asking, without really stopping to receive. Being able to “receive” opens me up in new ways. And, it’s been beautiful. So I share that tidbit with you. May God’s blessing be received by all of you!
My prayers for peace and healing and a resolution to your medical expenses.. A little restful quiet time for you would be good for you too.
Praying for healing in Mabel’s arm and a peaceful, blessed Christmas for you all.
Anne❤️
Sending healing wishes to dear Mabel. It will be ok in the end, and if it’s not ok, it’s not the end xx
Praying for you………………………All will be well.
Poor old Mabel & poor old you! :o( I’m another UK resident being reminded how thankful for the NHS I am. Things always seem to go wrong just before Christmas, last week the clutch on my car quit & right now I’m having the drain to our septic tank dug up (at least it’s not health related (fingers crossed!)). Wishing you all the best for the next few days and onwards…Amanda x
I will be praying for you all in this, Ginny. On a sidenote, we used Samaritans for many years and never had a complaint. We switched to a cheaper healthshare group, and they were a nightmare. We are now back with Samaritans and couldn’t be happier.
To be fair, they are really beautiful berries. I can see risking a little bit of something in order to have them brightening a Christmas hearth or doorframe. 🙂
Man, have I been where you are! Well, maybe not exactly, but 9 kids, homeschooling, food stamps, medical bills on top of other bills, collection notices, etc., etc.! I would remind myself not to worry, but still, there I was, worrying! Oh man, the conflict going on inside of me probably should have given me a stroke or something, but it didn’t. Instead it helped me learn to wait on The Lord. I always tell my kids, we learn to do hard things by doing hard things! After years and years, AND YEARS of worrying, I still worry, but a shade less than I did last year. Progress!
If I could offer any kind of encouragement, it would sound like every other bit of encouragement you’ve probably already received, but I’ll say it anyway; you are going to be okay. This situation will take care of itself. God has got your back. I will sometimes pray that God not take me out of a hard situation until I’ve learned what it is God can teach me through it. And I really try to mean it. And sometimes I manage to learn that I love Jesus more than I did yesterday, and that is worth a multitude of anguish and anxiety. My children are learning that nothing is more important than Jesus and that we will all go through incredibly difficult situations, but Jesus is still Jesus in spite of hard things, and I can doing anything for Jesus, even when I don’t want to because, can’t I just get a break sometimes?!?!? Breaks do come and they come in small things…..
Never have I been so thankful for the NHS here (National Health Service) under resourced and under pressure, even so they are still fabulous and staff work so hard.
I hope you can work out a way to repay the costs and get some solid advice about the way through.
Fingers crossed Mabel heals without the need for surgical intervention Ginny.
Have a lovely Christmas all together, warm and cosy.
Never have I been so thankful for the NHS here (National Health Service) under resourced and under pressure, even so they are still fabulous and staff work so hard.
I hope you can work out a way to repay the costs and get some solid advice about the way through.
Fingers crossed Mabel heals without the need for surgical intervention Ginny.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this situation Ginny! I will be praying that Mabel avoids surgery and that the medical bill situation gets resolved in your favor quickly.
Dear Ginny,
I am really sorry to hear about your insurance problems. I would love to help you more than just praying for you and your family. But of course I will do that.
I sent you all my love and positive energy, my hope and strength, to get to the other side, again.
Love, Isabel
Dealing with the medical industry in this country is so stressful. It feels like going into battle. Just today we spent almost an hour fighting to get my husband in for an appointment that was clearly covered by our insurance but that for reasons no one could understand was being denied until next year. We dealt with one extremely helpful person and one rude person who couldn’t have cared less. In the end it was resolved in our favor, but I am exhausted. I really feel for patients and their caregivers who have to deal with the stress of the red tape and finances on top of the stress of illness. *End rant*
I’ll be praying that Mabel avoids surgery and that your medical bills will be resolved soon in your favor.
Thank you also for sharing your thoughts on worry and wandering in the desert–as a lifelong worrier it is a continual struggle for me to rest in God’s promises and release my worries to Him.
Prayers for peace and healing and that brighter days are headed your way. Merry Christmas!
I’ll remember your family and sweet Mabel in my prayers tonight. She’s been a brave little girl.
Hang in there Ginny. Lots of love & prayers coming your way.
Btw….received the cutting board and new kerchief. They are beautiful. Thank you!❤️
Oh dear! I will offer up so many prayers for you! We had a similar situation with Solidarity Healthshare and still haven’t been paid, 2 years later, so I understand the frustration. I know it seems easy to say, but I know things will get better. Sending you an abundance of prayers!
We have the same 🙁 I’m so sad about it all. I hope you get reimbursed!
I am so sorry for your worries ladies. This is not fun. Caring for a family is challenging enough.
Seems like a more appropriate name may be Solid Rarity Health Scare.
Blessings on your families,
Sophie
Best wishes for a speedy recovery without surgical intervention. Health coverage is always a nightmare at best even with good insurance I feel that we are at the mercy of these big insurance companies.
Here’s to a happy & healthy holiday season.
Praying for Mabel and you and your whole family. May you have a peaceful Christmas season.
Oh no, poor Mabel! I’ll be praying for her and for you. It will be OK.
PS. Those pictures of Beatrix, Mabel and Ambrose are truly wonderful.
PPS. I love Mabel’s spunky attitude! Good for her 🙂
Ginny, Definitely praying for you and your family. 23 years with no breaks?! Mercies abound.
Hi there, I don’t usually comment, but I do read and enjoy all your posts. I will pray hard that your medical bill issues get settled ASAP and that Mabel does NOT need surgery. Enjoy the season. Love, Cheryl.
Hi Ginny;
Be sure that Mabel will be in our thoughts and prayers. Mabel heal quickly and take it easy. Ginny we know how sometimes you feel like everything is just coming apart. Happy that some of your problems are turning out okay. Medical prices including drugs are just down right unacceptable.
Wishing you and all of the family A Merry,Healthy,Blessed Christmas and New Year.
God Bless All
Marilyn,Joan and Marion
Thank you for mentioning the medical sharing information. My husband is divorcing me and I will likely lose insurance. I need to find a reputable resource. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through and sorry for your sweet babe.
Jill, I’m so sorry to hear that. I have two friends who have been with Samaritan for many years without complaint. I am also in an online group of people who have been part of bad healthshares and Samaritan is one of only 3 that are considered reliable. There’s a learning curve to be sure, but healthsharing does work when done well.