The evening after Silas’s surgery, we had chocolate ice cream for a treat. Using a kitchen scale, Jonny weighed out 144 grams per person. I’m sure that those of you with children also carefully weigh out dessert portions to make sure everything is fair. It just wouldn’t be right for one kid to get more grams of ice cream than another. It’s our job as parents to make sure everything comes out fair and even. You know I’m kidding. Well, I’m not kidding about weighing out the ice cream. Jonny does that on occasion because sometimes it’s easier than dealing with anyone claiming that they got less than so and so. I am kidding about trying to make everything fair. Our kids will tell you that “life’s not fair” is a frequently quoted phrase in our house. You just have to deal with it, unless we are talking about ice cream.
Our younger kids bicker and argue a lot. It’s definitely annoying and at times distressing, but I try not to worry about it too much. My oldest kids, the ones who used to fight on a regular basis, never do anymore. They are friends. As a mom of young adults, I have the benefit now to see the light at the end of the tunnel as far as sibling relationships go. In our house, most of the fighting these days is between Beatrix and Silas. Those two are the best of friends and the worst of enemies. On the day of Silas’s surgery, it was Beatrix who lingered at the car saying her goodbyes and hugging him as we prepared to drive to Richmond. She called for updates while Silas was in surgery. She called us during our drive home from surgery to see if she should start heating up chicken soup for him. She made homemade grape gelatin, just the way he likes it, and made multiple trips out to the garage freezer to get popsicles for him. She helped him walk to the table to eat and then back to the couch where she snuggled beside him. By the following day, it was Beatrix who was back to getting fed up with him and making it known loudly. I believe that one day they will be the best of friends all the time. And I will remember the hopeful glimpses I had of the love between them in the midst of the years of fighting.
Of course, it wasn’t just Beatrix who was eager to take care of Silas. Job and Mabel did his chores. Mabel made him hot tea (my kids learn that skill at an early age, I guess.) Silas wanted to sleep with me for the first couple of nights after surgery (holding my hand, no less) so mattresses were set up on the floor for Job and Mabel (and Jonny who moved out of our bed to give Silas more room) because they wanted to be near him as well. It was a rough few days, this recovery being more painful for Silas than the last one. We are hoping that in another week he will be back to his usual self.
The hard times are often the most precious, aren’t they?
Meanwhile, we have been getting a lot of snow! We had a big snowfall the weekend before Silas’s surgery so he got plenty of playtime before having to take it easy. As I write, I am looking out the window at what remains of our most recent snowstorm. I’m glad that the kids have had some fun snowy days, but I’m also glad that the extended forecast is showing temperatures in the low 50s soon.
Just before Silas’s surgery, I did what I always do when I’m preparing for a day away from home that might include some knitting time. I pulled yarn from bins, printed patterns, and wound skeins into balls. Planning for new projects (baby projects!) helped me with the anxiety that came with thinking of Silas’s surgery. But then I found myself missing the necessary needle sizes and questioning too much what size to knit for the first fall of a summer born baby and ended up taking along an already in-progress project. I am anxious to knit baby things with those beautiful green skeins but maybe not quite yet. (all naturally dyed last year and stashed away because I couldn’t part with them-details on how I dyed them are here.) As is usually the case when I think I’m going to do a bunch of knitting, I hardly knit at all that day.
Jonny and I talked and watched the screen, waiting to see that “case number 81” was out of surgery and in recovery. I took a photo to show Silas later. I watched the double doors for Silas’ surgeon, knowing that as soon as the surgery was over he would come to talk to us and tell us how things went. When he finally arrived (surgery went longer than we expected), he shared not only the details of the surgery but also how precious Silas was as he prepared to go under anesthesia. “He’s a sweet child,” he told us. Silas later shared how much he liked all the nurses and doctors who took care of him that day, how nice they all were. I write these details here so that I don’t forget. What a relief it was when all was over and we were on our way home, and how grateful I am for all of the people who care so kindly for the children of strangers every day. Thank you.
Yes, we have the same situation. It makes me dread dessert time (or pancake time). And then there is the dilemma is whether everyone should have exactly the same number of almonds, raisins, cookie crumbs, whatever, or if it is fair for the 90 lb child to have as much as the 20 lb child. Regardless, there is always whining about “So and so ALWAYS gets more. It’s so unfair.”
When I began writing this, there was sweet, snow day playing of Connect Four near the wood stove, on a cozy sheepskin, no less. Now there are tears and someone chasing someone else with the game pieces rattling in the box that is apparently also moving quickly through the room. I think it is better than households in which everyone is in his own wing sending text messages to someone.
You look radiant and beautiful in those snowy pictures. Make sure everyone keeps documenting you on your baby journey.
I’m so glad that everything went well with Silas’ surgery. Super sweet to read about Beatrix being so solicitous. I love that, and I love that picture of her, Silas, and Mabel.
My brother is four years younger than I am, and we used to bicker all. the. time. Now that we’re both adults, he actually lives pretty close by, and we see each other all the time. We’re definitely good friends now :).
Sidenote: that cat is adorable, but the goats will forever be my favorites. Seeing their sweet “earless” (I know they have ears) faces always makes me happy.
Wishing Silas a speedy recovery! Much love from The Netherlands.
So funny about weighing the ice cream!
I, too, have been so grateful for the kindness of nurses, doctors and other medical staff that care for our children when they have to be hospitalized. With our 8 children, we’ve had 6 major hospitalizations – and the kindness, thoughtfulness and care of the staff makes that burden so much lighter!
God bless your pregnancy. I know that new baby will bring MUCH joy!
Melisa
We definitely have different sets of children that fight more than others and yes, hindsight is amazing as my two older children are now good friends. Such a relief! Love this post and photos, as always.
I don’t want to say I’m *glad* to hear that your kids bicker, but…I’m a little glad to hear that your kids bicker. I’m always a little envious of families on blogs that have such beautiful, peaceful, completely productive lives—especially with so many children—when suddenly my two can’t be in the same room for more than a half-hour without going out of their way to try to annoy each other. But I guess that’s normal. I *am* glad to hear when they get older they stop doing that!
So happy that Silas is on the mend. x
So glad Silas is on the mend! I’m sure that was a hard thing to have your baby in surgery. You look amazing! So happy to see that baby bump
so glad that Silas is on the mend. I love how you document your days here and share them with us, I feel like a very very very distant great Auntie just soaking up the news.
We are really in a phase of a lot of sibling bickering.. it’s exhausting. And discouraging! So related to what you shared, how they’re the best of friends and then endlessly fighting. I was encouraged so much to read that it really may just be a phase. Glad Silas’ surgery is behind him! Seems like you were all quite brave. Hope he feels back to himself soon.
Martha
Ginny I am so happy that Silas is home and on the way to a full recovery. Love the photo with Beatrix,Silas and Mabel cuddled up together on the couch. We received about 16 to 18 inches of snow two weeks go and then a few more inches last week. There is a lot of snow still around. The photos are pretty of the snow.
HAPPY ST.VALENTINE’S DAY
Marion (Marilyn and Joan)
Happy to hear that everything went well for Silas and he is on the road to recovery. Love the pictures of the animals and the children playing in the snow.
Joan
Happy that Silas’ surgery went well. He is a brave boy. It seems like Beatrix was a devoted sister to Silas and so willing to make him comfortable. It is so nice to hear that your children are so loving to their siblings. God Bless.
Marilyn
So thankful all went well for Silas. ❤️ We are having artic cold temps and snow on the Midwest and definitely looking forward to warmer temps. Such sweet stories of your children. Yes sometimes it’s hard to believe they are friends in the midst of all their bickering. 😉the snow globe puzzle is neat and love the photos of the goats. Beautiful.
That is so cool that hospitals have update screens. Had no idea. I weigh my kids’ ice cream bowls too. It is simply easier. Only a parent of several can understand. Although I have instituted the older kid rule and use ratios based on years. lol
You write so beautifully and your photographs are gorgeous. “The hard times are the most precious”…I need to write that down and put it where I can see it. True words. Hope your little one heals well, and yes to being grateful for strangers who care for us when we are sick!
You look wonderful. I’m so happy for your family to get another sweet baby. We are adoring our little eighth baby right now, and I’m thinking that at our age, this will be our last and there is mourning in some ways. It’s hard to explain to people what beautiful things often happen so naturally in a large family. The way the children learn to care for and love each other because you just have to, and work things out, is such a beautiful (and sometimes hard) thing to watch. I think those little arguments are a sign that they have a deep relationship and do spend a lot of time together. It is easy to always get along if you are always hanging out with someone other than your siblings! And I tell myself that it is such a gift to learn at a young age how to get along with people who can be tired, selfish, opinionated, stubborn, frazzled, etc…because that is real life! We get to do that a lot as adults, so what a gift to get good at it while we are young.
How beautiful of you to verbalize the wonderful work of our Surgeons—Doctors and Nurses! I am a retired RN—working most of my years in Pediatrics. Loved those little ones. Enjoyed their acceptance of how we tried to make their hospitalizations less frightening. Loved how the parents stayed close and involved. Your comments of Silas’ brothers and sisters showed their love and kindness to him when he got home. Silas’ wanting to hold your hand was priceless.
So enjoy your posts. Your pictures are so fun! Enjoy your Valentine’s Day. As one of our Doctors used to say to us—“Carry on”.
Blessings and peace to you all Ginny! So glad to hear that all went well for Silas and prayers for his continued and full recovery!!
So sweet to be thinking about baby knits, what joy!