One afternoon during my sister Abby’s visit, she asked me if I could talk about Job’s birth, or if it still upset me too much. I never wrote his birth story down, and don’t plan to. Actually, I’m not one for writing them down anyway. I think Silas’ is the only one I’ve ever recorded. Job’s birth story is one that I think I’ll always carry deep inside. I don’t feel upset anymore when I think about it, but involuntary sobs still surface unexpectedly when the topic is broached.
I do want to write Mabel’s birth story, and hers is tied to Job’s. Making the decision that led to her scheduled c-section birth was one of the most difficult I have ever made. It was a decision that led to intense sobbing relief even in the face of many of my biggest fears. Bigger than my fear of surgery, of blood, stitches, and drugs, was my fear of another shoulder dystocia birth, another baby stuck before being born looking blue and lifeless.
I said I could never have another baby after that birth experience. An experience that came at the end of a very physically difficult and painful pregnancy. Two years postpartum, and my body was still not recovered. I remember the day last fall when I realized that I was indeed probably pregnant. I was sitting at a desk at the back of the room during Keats’ violin lesson and the reality hit me. I was overcome with fear and the urge to cry. I laid my head down on the desk, hoping Keats’ instructor wouldn’t notice my distress. I asked myself, “How could you let this happen?” In that moment I forgot my faith, forgot to trust.
The reality was that I truly wanted another baby, and more than that desire, I wanted God’s will for my life even if I was afraid of what His will might be. Deep in my heart I knew all along that Job wouldn’t be our last, and it was easy to get excited about another baby. An early blood test confirmed what I believed from the start, that we were expecting a little girl. Despite my happiness, I dreaded the pregnancy ahead. I experienced a lot of physical pain in the early months because of problems that I have with my pelvis and lower back, problems that were exacerbated by my previous pregnancy and birth. But worse than that was the reality that this baby would have to exit my body somehow. I would wake up in the middle of the night sweating, terrified at the thought, and not be able to go back to sleep. From my very first prenatal appointment, I joked with my midwife and doctor about wanting to just be knocked out. “Just give me those twilight drugs.” I casually mentioned c-section as well, but no one really believed that I wanted to go that route, including myself. My ob is known for being very low intervention as far as birth goes. People call him the male midwife. He never suggested c-section to me, but around the seven month mark, with the end of the pregnancy looming close, I realized that I was absolutely not comfortable with the thought of another vaginal birth of any fashion. This was despite the fact that the pregnancy was going well, and I felt far better than I had at this point in the pregnancy with Job. I discussed all my fears with Dr. J, and the fact that they were grounded in reality, not my imagination. I wanted the safest choice for my baby. And while he never said that my only safe choice was a c-section, in my mind it was, and after a previous shoulder dystocia birth I was a legitimate candidate. This was the choice that made me feel safe, and sometimes that is what is most important. I also thought that while the initial recovery would be more difficult than what I was used to after an uncomplicated vaginal birth, that this might be easier on my body in the long run. The day that I scheduled the surgery, I cried the whole way home out of sheer relief.
I kept the decision pretty close, only discussing it with family and a few close friends. Most everyone understood, though some voiced concerns. As you know, there are abundant opinions out there about c-section and birth in general. But I am 38 years old, and have had quite a few babies, so other people’s opinions didn’t really bother me. I felt confident about my decision, and still do. Of course I had my own concerns. Beyond fear of the surgery itself, I was worried about healing, bonding, and how I would feel about a birth so different from my previous ones.
My first birth was an induced, medicated hospital birth. My next five were homebirths. We “birthed” one precious child through adoption. The memory of Mabel’s birth isn’t any less dear to me than any of my others, because it wasn’t “natural” as some might say. There are many ways for children to join a family, and whatever the way it is always life-changing. Sometimes we get to plan things, and sometimes nothing goes according to plan. Ultimately we aren’t in control. We make the best decisions we can with the information we have, and then we must let go and trust. Mabel’s birth did go according to my plan, though in a perfect world I wouldn’t have chosen surgery. But having made that choice based on my past experience, I honestly treasure the memory of everything that happened in that operating room. It was the fragile and perfect beginning of her life with us. I had a beautiful, healthy baby and for that I am so thankful. I plan to write her birth story down as soon as I can, but this needed to come first.
p.s. Mabel is six weeks old today!
Ginny,
So pleased you received peace about your decision, and I understand totally your decision I truly do. I remember when you announced your pregnancy with mabel here and my mind flashed back to Job’s birth and I knew you had to be dealing with fear. So thrilled all went well xx
Thank you, Ginny xx
Ginny, thank you for sharing this part of your story. I think we are all empowered when we share the stories of our children’s births and the choices we make in giving birth to them. I had an emergency c-section after laboring for 29 difficult hours at home (we planned a homebirth), and although it has taken me some time to process the way my daughter’s birth went, I also felt such absolute clarity about agreeing to the c-section when I was told it was necessary. I feel now that that was the moment when I truly became a mother: there are so many hard decisions to make when one is a mother, and yet they become easy when we make them with love. I am so glad that you had a safe and peaceful birth with Mabel. She is lovely!
I think babies will do what they will do. I have nothing to compare birth to as my only one was a semi emergency (I was checked into the hospital but since I ate breakfast they wouldn’t operate right away) c-section. Mabel is a beautiful baby and you are lucky to have her.
Thank you so much for revealing something to private to others. Birth is such an amazing and terrifying thing and the world has so much to say to us, usually in some way saying, or at least implying, that our choices are wrong. We are so cruel to mothers. You were wise to follow your heart and I truly believe that God gives us some kind of special knowing as mothers, especially about our children and I am certain that this choice was the right one for you. Your generosity in sharing your story might be just what another mother-to-be, who is doubting herself, needs to hear. Congratulations on another gift of new life!
I was worried about you, reading about your ligament pains and Job’s birth. I am so glad you and Mabel are okay. (and I feel blessed to live in a time where C-sections are possible. I would have lost two of my sister-in laws if they weren’t an option)
After 3 painful tears during my 3 home births I also decided to have a cesarean birth. I wanted my girl more than the fear that I was feeling over having surgery!
They put her on my chest right after she was born and I was amazed. This was God’s plan for all of us and I was so thankful.
Now we’ve birthed another one through adoption and we’ll be birthing our sweet girl home from China this month (Mabel Ann!)
Life is messy and complicated and joyous and wonderful! All parts of it. And thanks to Him, I don’t have to control any of it!
xxooo Congratulations!
I just wanted to say that I think you are fabulous.
I’m so happy that things went so smoothly for Mabel’s birth, Ginny. I know me personally, after having 5 normal vaginal births that the sheer anxiety of doing it again is really overwhelming. I think you made a good decision for you and I completely understand. I hope you’re healing well and enjoying these fleeting newborn days!
I have had five c sections and two very special adoption “births”. They are all amazing no matter how they come from the hand of God. She is a beautiful little girl!! I love the picture with her older sister and the one of you among the trees.
Ginny, thank you so much for sharing this, it is truly empowering. (says a mom who has had two c-sections and still can’t really talk about them)
Ginny,
Mabel is so beautiful. I’ve been marveling at how lovely she is in each picture. Children are so amazing.
My third daughter was a gift to me through adoption. Her birth was a shoulder dystocia birth which resulted in a brachial plexus injury that is a big part of our life today. Choosing what makes you comfortable and feel confident for you and your baby going into the birthing room is brave Ginny!
I am so proud of you, Ginny. It’s so clear that it was the right choice for you and Mabel! I think C-sections can be such a mystery when you haven’t had one!
Lately I feel like I want to shout it from the rooftops–educate yourself, of course, but then have your sweet babies however feels safest and best to you. There is no “right” way, and it’s such a blessing that we live in a time and place where we have choices. Well done you for birthing your beautiful girl in the way that was best for you and yours!
So beautifully written Ginny, and thank you for sharing! One of my closest girlfriends found out after the birth of her first that it had been a shoulder dystocia birth, which explained why it had been so hard. When she was preparing for the birth of her second child, they had recommended for her to have a c-section. She had concerns, but talked out all of her fears with her midwife, and ultimately she decided to have a c-section. They were able to plan ahead for it and make it an ideal c-section experience. Now she has a beautiful baby girl. Even though it wouldn’t have been her first choice, I think looking back she is truly happy with her decision.
I’m grateful your sweet Mabel is here, healthy and happy, and also that when you made the decision about her birth you were able to face the birth with so much more peace. I think going into the birth with a feeling of peace makes the recovery go more smoothly afterwards. So much love to your beautiful family, as always.
This is a beautifully post. When issues arrise, I think they do haunt you in some way or form. We found out my daughter had a major heart defect at the 20 week scan (also needed a c-section as missy was also breach), It effected me then and has done ever since but nothing like when I was pregnant with my other. I find it very difficult to talk about. I’m glad you and Mable were happy and healthy, and you’ve found some peace.
She is so perfectly sweet Ginny, and good for you! Sometimes it takes so many children to give us mothers the confidence to know ourselves and bodies:)
Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m 23 weeks pregnant with our second child. Our first was born in an emergency c-section under general anesthesia. I was induced at 42 weeks and he did not tolerate the pitocin at all. It was a terrifying situation. I’m so grateful for our midwife and the rapid decisions that were made to ensure his safe arrival, but being asleep and separated from him and my husband for several hours was awful. I’ve been planning a vbac, but I’m terrified of having the same situation and seriously considering planning a second c-section. If I plan it, I would at least be awake for it. I’ve been mostly praying for a very clear deciding factor, one way or another. I’m putting my list of factors together and we have a consult with an OB to discuss our risks. I too have had hardly any real life conversations around this birth. It is such a personal decision and incredibly stressful. Reading this post was helpful as I try to navigate a hard decision, thank you.
I really hope you get some clarity for your decision. I’m sure you will as you get nearer- 23weeks is still plenty of time to mull and decide. (Listen to your heart over the noise of your head maybe? It helps me to think that way sometimes) best wishes.
I was blessed with my one and only child at 41. She was an emergency c-section. We say that she was so cozy in there she didn’t want to come out. For me, however the child comes into the world is besides the point. I was never wedded to any birthing plan. I just wanted a healthy baby. And she was. And she still is 11 years later. I’m so glad you took care of yourself. Mabel is a sweet blessing.
{{hugs}} Ginny. I am so glad for you that you were able to have the healthy good birth of your choosing!
I understand where you are coming from in making this very important and personal decision. I have always had homebirths but absolutely do recognize it isn’t the best or only option for every woman every time! 🙂
Poor Job, poor you! What an ordeal, so scary. Of mine, one baby came with the cord twice around her neck. She was purple, but praise God they were able to stimulate her and giving oxygen got her breathing. She’ll be 17 next month 🙂
Your decision was guided by God 🙂 I am glad she is here and M is healthy, I am thrilled that you are here and healthy as well!! Blessings on both sides!!
After having mostly homebirths, I had my last child in the hospital. I was 43 and had high blood pressure. I had hoped to have another homebirth, but my midwife did not think it was safe. My OB put me on medication and the pregnancy went well except that I was very tired most of the time. When I went into labor, my old body was not really kicking in for effective contractions, so I was given pitocin; but that led to an epidural to keep my blood pressure under control. My biggest fear was that I would have to have a C-section. But my baby was small and I was able to push him out. He ended up in NICU because of low body temp. and I spent the first three days after birth between NICU and sleeping in the hospital waiting room. It was so very different from my pleasant homebirths, but I didn’t feel any guilt or sorrow. Even though I am a big proponent of unmedicated, natural births, I felt it was God’s providence that led me down another path for my and the baby’s safety. I was just so grateful that I was able to have one last healthy baby. He has been a true joy to us in middle-age.
Thanks for the story. I relate to it so much as one of my birth’s didn’t go as planned and I felt guilty for awhile that it was not as natural as I had wanted it to be. I love your lines in the last paragraph. “There are many ways for children to join a family, and whatever the way it is always life-changing. Sometimes we get to plan things, and sometimes nothing goes according to plan. Ultimately we aren’t in control. We make the best decisions we can with the information we have, and then we must let go and trust.” So true and wise. In the end what is important is that you and Mabel are fine and healthy.
You hit the nail on the head. FEELING SAFE is the most important part of a birth experience. Your gut was conflicted, but it persisted and you found the right path. I think once you become passionate about low-intervention birth…it takes a good strong hold on you because it is not the norm in this country and it sadly needs to be defended quite a bit. But the reverse can happen and we can unintentionally (or intentionally) alienate women for their opposing viewpoints. Or alienate ourselves when we change our minds! But that should be the beauty of being a women in a country like America…choices and options when we birth our babies. Woman to woman…now you have a wealth of experiences under your belt, which makes you so valuable when you comfort or advise another woman. Induction, hospital, home, adoption, planned c-section, and unfortunately a traumatic birth… When I picked my birth instructor I picked a lady who had a “resume” much like yours…because you don’t know what life is going to throw at you and you want someone who has “been there, done that!”
The more babies I have, the more conservative I get when it comes to birth. I just take less and less for granted. My first two babies were planned homebirths (one ended in transfer). I thought that I was sure that I would have all my babies at home. I hated the idea of giving birth in the hospital, and truly believed I was safer at home. My second was born at home with seemingly no complications, but just wouldn’t breathe. She terrified my husband and me for five minutes. Like the commenter above, I so clearly remember the midwife’s assistant calling “five minutes.” Then she breathed and was fine, but those five minutes (plus moving to a place where I no longer trusted the “rules” on homebirth) were enough to change my mind. Now I happily plan my babies for the hospital, even though sometimes I feel like I’ve “failed” my old beliefs (and actually the next one didn’t cooperate and was born on the dining room floor anyway). It’s just where I feel safer now, but I never would tell someone else where they “should” feel safest. I can imagine myself scheduling a c-section too. I’m glad you found a way to feel safe though this birth, and I’m so sorry Job’s birth was so frightening.
The ONLY thing that matters is healthy baby, healthy mom!!!!!! I’m a physician and after Jobs birth I knew you must have suffered something like shoulder dystocia or severe lacerations or both. Your comments hinted at that, and I’ve heard many women express similar misgivings after a traumatic birth. Including myself. My first baby had a 15″ head and got stuck on my sacrum after three hours of pushing. They took out divergent mid pelvic forceps (used in less than 1% of US deliveries) and long story short got her out. Thank GOD I had an epidural in place because it hurt nonetheless. I then proceeded to bleed so badly I had to be resuscitated. My recovery took 9 weeks. I next got pregnant with twins and my OB said to me “If you were my wife, I’d want you to have a C-section.” I think he knew that’s what I wanted and wanted to let me know it was ALL RIGHT to feel that way. Ended up being a smart decision as one baby’s placenta had grown into the uterine wall. For a long time I felt like I was “no good” at giving birth so I told myself to focus on being good at raising them — a bright idea, no?
Everytime I see a woman like you, who has had so many kids — at home even! — I just go “Wow!” Because you are truly brave. And strong. And wise. You made the right decision for you and your body! All is well. Enjoy your babies!!!
Although I know that your intention to be supportive of Ginny is so good, I do think it’s ok for moms to feel conflicted over birth experiences, and that healthy baby/healthy mom is not necessarily the “only” thing that matters. I have four living children, of which the first was a standard hospital birth, the middle two were at home, and the fourth was a c-section. I have no regrets or bad feelings about my c-section, but it was very different in some key ways than my other births. No matter what kind of birth a woman has, she really needs to feel informed, empowered, and to have room to grieve if necessary. I had all these things with my c-section and it’s one of the reasons I have never had negative feelings about it, even though it was a sudden change of plans. I think Ginny is saying here that she also had these things and that’s why her c-section was a positive experience. Sometimes women don’t get these things, even if they end up with a healthy baby, and that can be bad for mom’s mental health, and even become factors in postpartum depression. So even though healthy baby/healthy mom are the most pressing necessities with any birth, these other factors are so important, too…they are really what make the difference between a positive birth experience and one that ends up feeling traumatic years later. Here’s a helpful article about this:
http://www.cordmama.com/blog/2015/4/27/why-healthy-baby-healthy-mom-is-not-all-that-matters
You knew what was right for you and Mabel! You are both healthy and recovering well and that is what counts. My son’s birth was not a great experience but he was born healthy and I was able to avoid a section – that was a great fear for me because I knew a section would prevent me from taking care of everything on the farm. My husband was gone for days at a time on business and I didn’t have any other help. In your situation, you made exactly the right decision – fear would only wear you down when you needed to be resting and preparing.
So much love and respect from me. You need to do what you feel is best for you and the babe, and with God’s help, you did it! I commend you. I am pregnant with my fourth and we haven’t told anyone yet (usually we tell everyone as soon as we get a positive pregnancy test!) because I have Crohn’s disease and my family gets almost angry at me for getting pregnant. They worry that it endangers my help because of my first two pregnancies. But since a major surgery, my body is totally different and I trust my doctors, my body and my intuition when my husband and I embrace God’s good gift of a child. I wish my family could trust and celebrate with us. I dread telling them, and I hate that.
Family can have all the worst reactions sometimes because they let their fears overwhelm their hope. I told my mother about our first about 2 seconds after I took the test, and after the first glow of joy, everything for the first several months was guarded. It was like she didn’t want to talk or tell anyone or let me be happy because something might go wrong. I finally just had to call her on it–God gave us an unexpected treasure, and it was all in, so her worry wasn’t making anything better. She had no idea how much her reserve was wearing me down, and that was just lack of joy, not even outright anger like you experience. Thankfully, after a complicated second pregnancy and a miscarriage, she knows that I have enough fear of my own and she’s the one reminding me to trust and be joyful with this baby. I pray that your family gets the picture soon, realizes that you’re a smart woman who is making decisions based on both reason and faith, and doesn’t miss out on the joys of preparing for this child. God bless you and your family!
Ginny, thank you for sharing something so personal and private. I think our fears are the hardest things to write about, and particularly fears about childbirth in an age where folks have forgotten it can be dangerous. The fact you felt safe and have a healthy baby girl is all that matters in the end. I’ll pray for your continued recovery from the surgery, and for your continued bonding with little Mabel. Bless you both, and your husband and other children, as you enfold this newest member into your family.
Thanks for sharing this, Ginny. I can’t believe that (in some circles) there is stigma associated with a c-section. Even your post seems apologetic at times, but you really have nothing to apologize for! It’s like you said here: ” We make the best decisions we can with the information we have, and then we must let go and trust.” That is so true. There are some things we don’t know and can’t control, but there are other things we DO know (like the effect past birth experiences had on us). Not acting on that knowledge would be needlessly traumatizing. I’m so glad you went with your gut and opted for surgery.
Mabel is lovely, and you look happy, too :). Have a good week, Ginny!
Oh dear! I didn’t mean to sound apologetic. I wonder if the stigma associated with c-section that does exist in some circles as you say, has affected me more than I realize!
Just to clarify – I didn’t mean it as criticism! Just saying – you did what was best for YOU, so there’s no need to explain or apologize. I think it’s amazing that you had another baby after Job’s difficult birth, and you handled it so wonderfully: trusting, yet at the same time THINKING :). And now Mabel is here! So amazing.
This stigma is definitely a thing! I was told after my C-section that if I had just had the right doctor, if I had just tried this or that different thing, I would not have had a c-section. Of course, there were so many reasons why this was both unhelpful and incorrect, but what sticks out in my mind three years on is how much “less than” the c-section was made to sound. In fact, if I had another baby I might choose a c-section again. I already have four children and I’m in my late 30’s, so the concerns about multiple c-sections doesn’t bother me. And in so many ways, despite a very different recovery, the c-section was a very empowering birth, too.
((Ginny))
“It was the fragile and perfect beginning of her life with us. I had a beautiful, healthy baby and for that I am so thankful.” Mae is certainly beautiful and healthy so why does it matter to anyone how she arrived and was placed into your family’s loving arms? Giving birth is hard work no matter HOW it’s done and nowadays, people tend to forget that it’s dangerous work as well. It’s not been that long ago that many mothers and babies died during the process. We are lucky to live in an age (and place) where we have choices and risk is greatly diminished. Blessings to you and your amazing family!
Thank you for sharing your story. I could write a volume here. xo
I think the end result is that a healthy baby was born. That’s everyone’s goal and all that really matters.
You have to do whatever is necessary to ensure a healthy birth experience, for both baby and mother. How a baby exits a body is secondary.
A mother is created through v-birth, C-section or adoption! You have experienced it all and I admire you greatly.
Marilyn (in Dallas)
My first baby was born via c-section and when it came time to deliver my 2nd I chose a repeat. I tormented over that decision the entire pregnancy with my 2nd. It caused me so much anguish and pain having to make that kind of a decision but I ultimately decided to trust my gut and trust where my prayers were leading me. Now pregnant with my third I have decided not to anguish the decision of a repeat but to embrace it. Thank you for telling your story! I think it is important for other women to hear.
This story is so important to share. Thank you.
It is empowering to read of a woman knowing what is right for her and her child. God bless you! We all need encouragement and support, nothing beyond this! I was born emergency C-section and my siblings by c-section afterwards. The main thing is to care and love ones children, not how they were born. God bless all mothers!
Oh Ginny, thank you for sharing! My last two births were both shoulder dystocia births, but both were only in the 8 lb range. I was very nervous my whole last pregnancy about it happening again, and we had actually planned to induce a few days early to hopefully avoid. At the last minute, my doctor decided that I was probably fine to wait until after my due date, and I didn’t argue the point. Sure enough, my last baby was 3 days “late” and his shoulder dystocia was worse than his sister’s. He was blue and bruised and had a low apgar. He quickly recovered and his 5 minute apgars were fine, but the pain was unreal. I also prayed nearly every day of that pregnancy for a healthy birth, and while I do know that all’s well that ends well, I miss the days of two pushes and Baby arriving. In the future, we will probably push harder for an induction around 39 weeks (and also the epidural! Mentally I just can’t do that again), but you have definitely opened my eyes to the c section option. Thank you so much for sharing! It really is therapeutic to talk about this and hear other people’s stories. Mabel is such a beautiful baby!
I’ve had 4 children & all were c-sections (not by my choice) but Gods choice for me. My first child decided at 38 weeks turned around to be breech and they couldn’t turn him back. I’m very small and he ended up weighing 8 lbs 3 oz. I cried and cried when it was to be a c-section. I was so scared. But it went fine. My 2nd came 14 months after my first. She was a big surprise. It had taken us 4 years to get pregnant the first time & then to get pregnant again so soon – I was scared but excited too. We opted for VBAC but when I went in – she was also breech. And now looking back – my body really didn’t have time to heal from the 1st surgery to consider a VBAC. I trusted the Lord in that. Of course baby 3 & 4 were c-sections because they wouldn’t give me a choice. I didn’t know about a lot of alternatives back then. And I found out after my third child (chiropractor visit) that my pelvic area was all out & she felt that’s why my 1st two were breech. I mention my story just to say that my births didn’t go as I had planned but I trust the Lord & admit to being thankful for options. Each birth, pregnancy are different & I’ve learned its best to keep my mouth quiet about decisions that other families make. We need to not judge others or say cruel things. God works all things out for purposes we often aren’t even aware of and for one to judge another for their choices is wrong. Mabel is a beautiful baby, a gift from the Lord and it doesn’t matter how she arrived, her life is precious and she’s been given to a beautiful and loving family by God to take care of her and raise her. Blessings to you all!
With my seventh I faced my first c-section as well. Once I got to the hospital I was fully dialated with a surprise breech baby. My midwife had thought she was head down the day before though I had my suspicions and labor was very strange. The recovery was harder and I had this feeling after she was born that I was still waiting for birth but I new it was the right decision being that we have large babies and she ended up being the biggest at 10 lbs. I am glad that I can now share what it is like to have had a c-section with other moms. People can say the rudest things about them but ultimately it’s all about making the best choices for healthy babies.
I am so glad you and baby are doing well and you are such an encouragement.
*my “k” key is stickkkky. ^knew 🙂
I have the same feeling about being glad I can share the experience of what it is like to have had a c-section with other women.
This deeply resonates with me. I have nine children. Three were gifts via adoption. Four were amazing, unmedicated, beautiful births. One was a shoulder dystocia nightmare that ended in an emergency c-section. That was baby number 8. Baby number 9 was a schedule repeat c-section, and I am fairly certain I don’t have to explain the “why” to you– although I’ve felt that I needed to defend my choice to others who insisted that I should have at least *tried.* ((sob))
The only hurtful part for me now, as my ninth is 15 months old, is that no one (no one!) ever asks about his birth. It’s as if it was somehow illegitimate, or *not* a birth! I am dumbfounded… and yet encouraged to think long and hard before I allow my mind to shape a judgment of others, in whose shoes I have not walked.
I have been told so many similar things about my c-section! One person even said that I didn’t give birth to my baby! Well…he was born, so I guess there was a birth involved!
Bless you – it can be so very hard!
I was left very traumatised by my 5th child’s birth and swore that she was my last and that I just could not go through being pregnant and giving birth again. Indeed, I had been told that I should not consider having any more children. I was terrified of the prospect of birth and was continually criticised for it by the consultant – I barely saw a midwife – because “it just didn’t make sense, what with me having had 5 children vaginally and didn’t I know some people had it harder, didn’t I know x, y, z – even down to “well, if you don’t want to be pregnant, there are things we can “do”). It was horrible. I barely slept – the nightmares were horrendous (it had taken time for them to stop and finding I was pregnant they resurfaced again with a vengeance). I had minimal counselling and aside from a very few people (counted on one hand – so not even some very close family) I told no-one that I was pregnant until it was abundantly obvious. As it happened, I ended up having a “semi-urgent” caeasarian – my first (and last!) ever and although recovery was tough, the relief when I was given a date for the surgery was incredible, so I can certainly empathise there! Arthur arrived safely (all 10lb 11oz of him) and was welcomed into the arms of my partner (who was able to sit with me throughout the surgery).
Many blessings to you all at the welcoming of your beautiful daughter – sometimes things aren’t as we would like, but are they are meant to be. Please that you are both safe and well. xx
Your description of Job made me cry. My last baby was not stuck, but blue and lifeless for five minutes after being born. With a history of 8 miscarriages, I could not believe we were going to have a stillborn. My husband was in tears, the nursing student was paralyzed against the wall. My doctor was beside me and wonderfully calm and reassuring which kept me so as well. Miraculously Pip began to breathe in what seemed a lifetime after the nurses counting the minutes out loud announced “five minutes”. I am chalking it up to too much medication to induce labor, and I will never do that again.
Happy six weeks Mabel! Thanks for sharing, Ginny…you are so clearly such a good mom. Your children are lucky to have you.
Having a healthy baby and mum are the most important things. I can understand your concerns after Job’s birth and would totally have opted the same way you have gone. It must have been so overwhelming and scary. There are many things that can go wrong in childbirth and thankfully you are both still here to live a long and happy life. My first child’s birth was one I never wanted to experience again and thankfully he survived it. It could have turned out much worse. I was so happy when my daughter’s birth was quick and safe but I did consider having a c-section to avoid complications like the first delivery. Always trust your instincts. Mabel is one gorgeous baby xx
Ginny, thanks for sharing so vulnerably. I am grateful with you for a doctor who was able to hear your needs, and for a God who has you in his perfect hands. Blessings, Annie
This was my experience too. It has been 9 years and i still cry when i think of Seraphinas birth. I always knew i’d have to have a section if we were to have any other babies. Nola arrived safe and sound, after a very peaceful ceasarean delivery. Your little one is so precious. Thank you for sharing this post. I always appreciate your candor and honesty. Wishing your beautiful family all the best 🙂
I am glad that you were able to make the decision that was right for you! I have had vaginal, c-section, VBAC, failed VBAC emergency c-section, and 2 planned c-sections. I love seeing the pictures of Mabel and I am so happy for you!
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You are both beautiful and you are such a great mom. That must've been such an agonizing decision but I'm so happy that you have peace about it all and had a good birth. I'm excited to hear more about her birth if you decide to share!