“Knitting, and learning to knit, is so much better when it’s about relationships.”
-Elizabeth Dehority
I am saddened to share that very early this morning, our friend Elizabeth died after a long battle with cancer. Some of you have gotten to know her over the years whether through her blog, mine, or those of other friends, and many of you have kept her in your prayers. She was loved by many, and she loved right back.
This morning after receiving the news, I held Larkspur in my lap and to the best of my ability tried to describe to her the way I understand that Elizabeth’s last moments were, peaceful and surrounded by her family. Through tears, we talked about her and went through photos and old emails. Larkspur recounted her phone calls with Elizabeth, whom she called her Knitting Friend, and the four words she used to help Larkspur learn to knit, “In, around, through, off.” Those are the same words that I use now and will always use to teach others to knit as well.
Dear Elizabeth, we thank you for touching our lives, for inspiring us, but most of all for loving us. We love you forever.
Lark and I thought that this would be the perfect day to share again the post we collaborated with Elizabeth on years ago, about teaching children how to knit.
The following post originally ran in April 2011.
*****
Over the past couple of years, and in the past couple of weeks, I have taught four of my five children how to knit. They’ve watched me knitting, and have naturally wanted to join me. I honestly can’t remember now how I taught Keats and Gabriel, as it has been so long. More recently, I taught Larkspur, and finally Seth, but this time I unexpectedly gained a mentor. I found myself in the privileged position of having a dear woman whom I share a mutual friend with, begin sending emails to Larkspur and I about knitting. These emails have guided me in teaching Larkspur, and I think that they may help you too. I could cut them up, and turn this into an impersonal guide, but I don’t want to edit her words, and think you can gain more from her letters in their entirety.
With Elizabeth Dehority’s permission, I am going to share with you the letters she has written to Larkspur, and some to me as well in the order in which we have received them. I hope that you are as blessed by these letters as Larkspur and I have been.
I will give a list of Elizabeth’s recommendations at the end of this post, so that this tutorial of sorts can be revisited and those things she recommends easily found.
(photo of Elizabeth Dehority teaching Katie Foss how to knit courtesy of Elizabeth Foss)
Dear Larkspur,
Your mom put pictures of your beautiful cast on row on her blog, and it was the very first thing I saw this morning. What a wonderful way to start my day!
Teaching four and five year olds to knit at the Montessori school by my house is one of my favorite things to do. I can’t even count as high as the number of children who now knit at that school, because even though I can only teach some, they all end up teaching each other. That makes me really, really happy.
If you’re going to learn the knit stitch today, there are two things that will make it easier… And make the next steps easier too, for a double bonus 🙂
There are lots of little rhymes to remind you how to make your knit stitch, but the very best thing to say while you’re knitting is
IN. AROUND. THROUGH. OFF. IN. AROUND. THROUGH. OFF.
If you say it out loud, even your little sister will learn it, and then when she walks around chanting ” in around through off in around through off” it might drive you crazy, but that’s OK. Someday she’ll be a knitter, too.
The second thing is this. Every knit stitch has a front leg and a back leg. I put a very sloppy drawing down at the bottom… Pretend your knitting needle is a horse and think about your stitch like a little guy sitting on his horse. He has one leg on your side of the horse and one side on the other. Can you see it in your imagination? We call the little guy’s right leg his front leg because it’s in FRONT of the knitting needle… But you probably already figured that out.
It helps to think about “in around through off” and front legs and back legs because then when you start to do fancy things like increasing and decreasing, we can talk about it using those words and make it SOOOOO easy.
And now I have to take care of a naughty three year old. I’m not even going to tell you what mischief he’s been into already this morning.
Keep up the good work! I am so happy to start my day knowing there’s a new knitter in the world!!!!
Love,
Elizabeth
(Elizabeth Dehority teaching Karoline Foss how to knit, photo courtesy of Ann Voskamp)
Dear Ginny,
I always offer up each chemotherapy for some particular intention, and tonight was your knitting relationship with Lark…. I am a praying knitter… I do not sit still well AT ALL and knitting while I pray has been essential for my spiritual life for a LONG time. But usually during and after chemo lately I just don’t feel well enough to knit, so I sort of need to connect it all back somehow… So offering up everything that goes along with chemo… Especially the not being able to knit part… Helps a bit.
There’s no way we could explain all that to Lark, but I am going to send her another email asking how it’s going… Just as soon as my head clears a bit and my husband changes my IV bag…
Love,
Elizabeth
Dear Ginny,
Tonight is a chemo night, and tomorrow I will be pretty much worthless, but I PROMISE you some notes on teaching little ones.
First of all, what you are doing is perfect, perfect, perfect. Just BE WITH HER. For three and young fours, or often boys up to 5, 99 % of the knitting we do is actually the adult’s yarn and needle manipulation. Sit the child facing the same way you are (you probably don’t have much lap left 🙂 (I am eight months pregnant) and start with your hands on the needles, you tensioning the yarn, and the child’s hands resting gently ON YOURS. Hand over hand. As they chant In around through off, etc, they will naturally start reaching for the yarn to bring it around, and helping you click it through. Say nothing about it, just notice as they take over the tiniest movements, when they start to press your hand into the right direction ever so slightly. Then pick one part… “You do in” and I do around through, off… and then pick a different part. You will find that gradually, hand over hand has become your hands over theirs! Or sometimes one on one side, the other on the other.
OFTEN,to take a rest, do a whole row yourself and tidy things up. But you need to have something to say while this is going on, otherwise it’s “Hey! What are you doing to my knitting!) But things that demand such high level of concentration from such little ones musn’t last too long without little breaks.
I use size eight knitpicks harmony needles on a 24 inch cord… it is SOOOO sad when a child has done such good work on a straight needle and it all falls off the end in a bag…. plus the relatively sharper tip on the harmonies helps get that needle in there when a stitch is tight…
More knitting with small ones thoughts might not be till Tuesday, the day after chemo I usually sleep most of it through.
Love and hugs,
esd
Dear Lark,
Seeing the pictures of your first knitting last week reminded me of so many brand new knitters I’ve known. I wish I could show you a you tube video of the first time I tried to show somebody how to knit… But back then not only wasn’t there YouTube, there weren’t even computers. I was four years old, and my mom had just taught me to knit, purl, and pick up dropped stitches. I was so excited about learning that I decided to teach my sister. The problem was that she was only two years old, and you know how two year olds are! My mom and dad have a film movie of it, though… maybe my dad can get it put on a DVD so I can upload it and show you.
Most of the kids I have taught how to knit have been in the primary classrooms at the Montessori school by my house. It’s a little different teaching kids in a school than knitting with your own kids at home. Did you know that some children have never actually seen anybody knit, and don’t even know that wool comes from sheep?
When I teach school kids how to knit, I have them make their own knitting needles. We make our own needles for two reasons. First of all, it would be way too expensive to buy fancy knitpicks harmony circular needles for everybody, even though I think they are the very best to learn with. The second thing is this: for lots of people, especially boys, knitting helps make it easier to sit still and be a good listener. Well, I need the kids to be able to sit and listen while I explain about wool and sheep and how they get the wool off the sheep, and how we can spin it into yarn. But the kids who need to listen don’t know how to knit yet! So while I’m talking I have them make their own knitting needles. Before the class, I cut 3/16 inch dowels into 10 inch lengths and sharpen one end in a pencil sharpener. While we talk about yarn, the kids use really fine sandpaper to make their needles SOOOOO smooth that they can’t feel any rough spots anywhere. They sand and sand and sand… Then they use polymer clay to make a knob for the non-pointy ends. Finally, we rub beeswax into the wood… And rub and rub and rub…. Usually by this time we’ve talked enough for one day! Then I take the polymer clay knobs home and bake them in my oven and glue them on the ends of the polished needles. Then the next day I bring the brand new knitting needles back and we can really learn to knit. I’ll tell you all about that in a minute, but first I have to put George back to sleep.
Love,
Elizabeth
Dear Lark,
We left off with the school students and their brand new knitting needles. Now we get to really learn how to knit. I think it’s best to learn how to knit with wool. Wool is stretchy and squishy and real. Usually I teach knitting with Paton’s Classic Merino, because it’s just regular worsted weight wool yarn that’s not expensive. But you know how when yarn comes in a big round hank, and you get to hold it out with two hands while someone else winds it into a ball? That’s one of my favorite parts of knitting. I LOVE winding good wool yarn into a ball to knit with. The problem is that the Paton’s Classic comes already in a ball, so the kids don’t get to do that part. Sometimes I think I should take the yarn and put it INTO hanks, just so kids can try getting it FROM the hank into balls, since most of the kids have never gotten to do that at home.
So anyway, now we have needles and wool yarn. What do you think we have to do next? If you guessed “cast on” you’re right! Somehow we have to get the yarn onto the needles so we can learn our knit stitch. Even when I’ve got a whole classroom of kids to teach, I always let them learn how to actually knit one at a time. You and I already talked about learning how to knit. The two most important things to get stuck in your head are “in, around, through, off” and what a knit stitch actually looks like, with the two legs, the front leg on the right and the back leg on the left.
Usually the first project I have kids make is just a regular square. You can do so many things with a knit square! I think you could think of ten different ways to use a knit square in less than a minute. But here’s the tricky part: You can make a square by starting on one of the sides and knitting across to the opposite side, OR, you can knit a square by starting in a corner and knitting to the opposite corner. If the person learning how to knit is four years old, or maybe five, I usually cast on twenty stitches for them and teach them how to knit across.
In, Around, Through, Off.
Love,
Elizabeth
(A string of prayer socks, just waiting for Elizabeth to Kitchener stitch the toes)
For teaching children to knit, Elizabeth recommends:
Options Interchangeable Harmony Wood Circular Knitting Needle Tips, Size 8
Cables are sold separately, Elizabeth recommends the 24 inch cables
For an easily attainable, inexpensive wool starter yarn: Paton’s Classic Wool
You should be able to find this at your local craft store.
Elizabeth recommends a simple square as a first project.
If you have the child knit two of them, you can add a bag of beans to the middle, sew them together and make a bean bag! If you are knitting with wool, such as the Paton’s you can even help the child to wet felt the squares first, adding another element of fun to that first project.
Larkspur’s first project is a doll scarf. At five years old, her attention span is quite short, and for a doll scarf she just cast on 5 stitches. To sit down and knit a row only takes a matter of moments. Sometimes that is all she is interested in doing.
(Elizabeth’s famous prayer socks)
I hope that Elizabeth’s words will help you teach the little ones in your life to knit, as they have helped me. She would love that so much.
Your prayers for her family are very much appreciated.
Love,
Ginny
What a lovely post. Isn’t death a bitter and a sweet? I found such a sweetness in holding my mommy’s hand after she past away. Her hands that had held my hands for 43 years. Our hearts squeeze with memory, but tears heal us…eventually. Many prayers for Elizabeth, her family, and for you and yours. Hugs to you all.
God bless her family! thank you for sharing; an inspiration to knit w my children more.
Sor sorry for your loss….
Thank you for the gift of her letters
and
the knowledge that everything we do matters.
God bless you!
I haven’t been commenting a lot Ginny, but I have been reading, and I’m sorry to hear of Elizabeth’s death. She will be deeply missed, I’m sure. What a legacy she has left, eh? Love to you and yours in this sad time. xoxo
Thank you so much for sharing this. My 3 year old, Simon, has been begging to knit. I’ve done some weaving with him, but now you and Elizabeth have provided me with so much support for introducing him to knitting in the next year or two. He goes to a Montessori school too. 🙂
You have had many losses recently, which is a testament to your deep friendships and wide acquaintance. You seem to surround yourself and your family with many dear people who form a true community. I have not been as good at developing community and you, even in the midst of your losses, model that for me.
Jennifer
Too many good people are dying this year. Both people I know from online places, and reakl life friends and aquaintances + a lot of writers, artists ect. Our loss is great, but what they win is bigger than our loss. Many prayers and wishes for a blessed Easter.
So sorry for the loss of your friend, thank you for sharing those lovely memories. xx
So lovely, so loving. Thank you for sharing.
I know that it hurts. I’m sorry.
Praying for all of you.
Indirectly, she’s the reason I started learning to knit. I saw Elizabeth F’s post about her sock sister weekend with Elizabeth D. and Ann, and that made me want to learn to knit immediately. So Elizabeth D. *did* teach me to knit, because I would never have started without her inspiration and Elizabeth F’s posts!
She was such a dear lady. Thank you so much for this.
I am sorry for your loss and for everyone who will be missing Elizabeth. I pray that looking back on her beautiful smile and legacy continue to bring joy.
Elizabeth was so inspiring from what I read and seen,She has certainly gave me the foot forward to teach my granddaughter,My Prayers are sent to her and her family and friends.Thank you so much for sharing her life with me.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend!
May she rest in peace!
She will be remembered, especially by Larkspur, who has the most precious memories with her knitting friend.
A perfect story of love on this Good Friday
My heart breaks for you and her family and friends. I’m glad to learn her little chant for teaching children to knit. I have always taught ” In through the front door, go around the back, out through the window, off jumps Jack”. Hers is much easier!
Much love to you.
I can’t believe how beautiful these letters are – they are so gentle and thoughtful and are filled with the love of teaching little ones this art. My prayers go out for Elizabeth’s family – her letters will live on not only for you and your family but through us, your readers and friends. I am printing them out to work with my 5-yr-old granddaughter who wants to learn to knit so badly. I didn’t think I had the patience for this, I know know that there is patience for anything that will inspire those you love – just taking it step-by-step and bit-by-bit, Ellie and I will work through this process.
Oh, Ginny. I’m so sorry! When I first heard the news I immediately thought of you, Ann, and Elizabeth. And my next thought was of this sweet post that I remember from years ago. Thank you for reposting it <3
I think there are many of us who never met her who will think of her every time we teach someone else to knit or pick up our own knitting to work on a sock.
What a remarkable spirit and kind heart.
Oh my Ginny. This is sad to hear even though I know she’s in a better place. I think of her now and then when I teach my children to knit wondering if she would have any tips for right handed mothers teaching left handed children knitting. I will keep you in my prayers because you are still dealing with the loss of your other precious friend. If I were near you I’d just give you a great big hug.
Thank you for sharing those letters again even though it’s hard to read them this time.
Sorry to hear of Elizabeth’s passing. I had just recently looked up this post as I was preparing to begin a volunteer position at a women’s shelter teaching knitting. The instruction here about how to teach knitting was very helpful. Every week I teach a new group of women “in, around, through, off.”. So simple. So perfect. Thank you Ginny and thank you Elizabeth.
Sorry to hear you and your family have lost a good friend. I have followed Elizabeth for quite some time as she was going through a battle that my friend also was. My friend is now in Heaven. I hope they meet as my friend loved crafts.
I like the way you spoke to Larkspur on your lap.
What a wonderful friend you have lost. I am so sorry. She leaves behind such great memories and a little part of herself. I have just found or I would rather say that God just sent me a most wonderful knitting friend! I have been wanting one for so long. I actually know how to “really” knit now so I can soon join Yarn Along. Once again I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing your friend Elizabeth’s beautiful spirit with all of us.
Elizabeth has been on my prayer list for such a long long time and I was sadden to hear the news. I love that you have documentation of a friendship that spanned the miles. Hugs.
Everyone needs an Elizabeth in their life. We have one, Justine. She, like Elizabeth, shared her love of knitting with my children through weekly knitting sessions. I would drop my girls off, ages 5 and 7, at her house and come back 3 hours later….much more than knitting went on while I was away…..their hearts were bonded. Justine is now 91 years old, and we treasure each visit with her. Thank you for sharing Elizabeth with us-so we too may know her.
So sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and Elizabeth’s family.
So sorry to hear of your loss. What wonderful and lasting memories you have of her.
Dear Ginny
I found your post deeply moving and uplifting. What a wonderful tribute to Elizabeth. She sounds inspiring, kind, strong, generous and utterly warm hearted. I’m so sorry for the loss you and Lark are feeling and hope these touching memories are like Elizabeth’s arms around you from heaven. Much love Tania
Thank you for sharing your letters from Elizabeth at this very difficult time. What a wonderful way to remember your dear friend. I am just about to start teaching my granddaughter to knit so all the tips will be so useful. I am so sorry for your loss.
My heartfelt sympathy goes out to you and your family on the loss of your dear friend. What wonderful memories you shared today in this post. She was so special and I’m sure she will be greatly missed. My best to you.
Thank you for sharing this special story, as Montessori teacher, mum of a 6 year old boy knitter and knitter myself, this touched me on many levels.
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of such a special woman. Much peace to her family and friends. I look forward to using the emails when it comes time to teach my daughter to knit. thank you for sharing them.
I did not know Elizabeth, but I have known of her as Larkspur’s Knitting Friend through your blog. She sounds like she was a very special person, who touched a lot of hearts. I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers for you and Lark, and for Elizabeth’s family.
I am so sorry to read that your wonderful Knitting Friend has passed. What beauty and light she brought with her through her knitting lessons and her amazing letters to you and Larkspur! I used the very method she described above with my own son – having him sit on my lap with his hands on mine, directing my next movement, and occasionally adding a few rows here and there. He made his first wash cloth that way and has already picked out two more balls of yarn for future projects – when he has the patience to start them. 😉 (The first ball of cotton yarn and his needles were stocking stuffers 2013).
Wishing much comfort from above for you and all Elizabeth’s loved ones.
Very very sad. What a wonderfully giving and sharing person she was and so young.
I am so sorry! What a beautiful beautiful woman Elizabeth is and is now in the heavens! We will pray for her as newly departed and for comfort for her family and all those who love her! Memory Eternal! May God remember Elizabeth in His Kingdom!
I am so sorry Ginny and family. She sounded like such a wonderful lady. Prayers.
I was so saddened to read of Elizabeth’s death today. What a beautiful day to enter Gods kingdom though. My 5 year old has been begging to learn to knit for quite some time now. In honor of Elizabeth I will teach her soon, using this post you graciously shared, and I will remember to pray with each stitch we knit together. Thank you for sharing this, and you and all of elizabeth family and friends will be in my prayers.
I’m so sorry for your loss. From these messages and especially these pictures, she seems like such a joyful woman! How wonderful it must be to have known her. I’ll be thinking of you, and her, and both your families…and praying for all of you, too. Hang in there, Ginny. You will get through.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Ginny. May Elizabeth rest in His peace.
I was very sad this morning to read about Elizabeth’s death. It seems she really was such a gift to everyone who knew her. I guess her miracle was not to be for herself, but for all those who she brought to God, and for those whose lives were touched by her.
Requiescat In Pace
I’m so sorry for your loss, Ginny. These letters and pictures are precious. I learned of Elizabeth through the blogs of her many “sock sisters,” your blog included, and followed her life and story for just over a year. I was deeply saddened to read of her passing today. Her loving and generous spirit and inspirational courage really touched my heart, as did her passion for helping special needs orphans. Many, many prayers for her family and friends.
What a sweet tribute to your friend. Those pictures of you and Larkspur were just precious.
I too am sorry to hear of your loss. Elizabeth was just in my mind and in my prayers this weekend. What a gift she offered to so many children teaching them to knit!
A beautiful tribute to a beautiful soul.
I am so sorry to hear of Elizabeth’s passing. Her sweet letters helped me teach my oldest daughter to knit, and the little kids can recite her chant even though they only finger knit. I’m sure they’ll use Elizabeth’s words to teach their own children to knit one day! I’m praying for comfort for her family and friends. Thank you for sharing her letters again.
Thinking of you and wishing her family peace. Xo
Ginny,
I am so sorry for your loss! Elizabeth was truly an amazing woman! Prayers for you and Lark, & for Elizabeth’s family as well!
God bless,
Cari
I’m so sorry for you loss Ginny. I will pray for her family and for all the hearts that are breaking today. Elizabeth blessed so many peoples lives and I know in my heart she will continue to do so through the lives of all those that knew and loved her. Thank you for sharing her letters to you. It was a gift to read her words and see her bright shining smile.
I was saddened to learn of Elizabeth’s passing Ginny and yes, her family is in my prayers. Hugs to you my dear.