I am a ‘never stops moving’ sort of person. If you do find me sitting down, I’m probably knitting. I even knit while I am homeschooling my kids. Knitting or a really good book are for the most part the only things that make being still appealing to me (the big exception being snuggling a newborn. I can totally do that too.) So of course, that is the mom that my kids know: high energy, up and about mom. However, for the past month or so I’ve been pretty much knocked down, unable to do much at all. This is hard on all of us. Previous pregnancies have had their share of aches and pains, but I was always able to sort of push through it somehow. The problems I’m having this time around can’t be ignored or dealt with in the same way. I’ve learned to measure my steps carefully, because if I take too many I end up becoming a crying mess over the pain which isn’t good for me or anyone else in my family. I’m not going to pretend that I’m handling this in a consistently graceful fashion. Things often feel chaotic and out of control and I pretty much hate those feelings.
Last week we had a day that ended with Beatrix deciding that she was going to work in opposition to everything I asked. Generally speaking she is a very strong willed little girl so I am accustomed to her ways, but this was extreme. We were at the end of a day that had been particularly difficult for me, and evidently it was affecting her as well. She was determined to make a giant mess, and I quickly became very frustrated and did not handle things well at all. I couldn’t think clearly enough to recognize that my current state is proving to be very hard on her and her behavior was a result of that. I was having a hard time seeing beyond my own pain to hers. She went to bed crying that night and my heart was broken over the whole situation.
There is a danger in letting myself sink too deeply into thoughts revolving around how I feel and how hard this is. Typically that makes me feel worse. Of course I must take care of myself, but if I can find small ways to continue to meet the needs of my little ones I am ultimately going to be happier and so are they. On that rough evening, once Beatrix was asleep, I really wanted to sit down and knit while I collected myself. But I knew that the key to turning things around with her was in my finding some ways to creatively meet her needs and spend more time with her. So that night, rather than knitting, I sat down at the kitchen table and planned out some simple activities. I vowed to make sure to give Bea special attention the following day and to do my best to continue to do so in the weeks to come before the baby is born.
I was still feeling a little sad when I crawled into bed that night, and looking for encouragement I pulled my familiar copy of Small Steps for Catholic Moms off my bedside table, turned to the day’s meditation, and this is what I read:
Think :: “The great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort, and independence, lies in the fact that people close their hearts and become selfish.”
Pray :: Dear God, make me keenly aware of the needs of others today. Use me as your instrument to meet those needs.
Act :: The first time you want to take some “me” time today, turn your attention instead to the neediest member of your family. Open your heart wide to her needs and pour yourself into meeting them.
And those small prompts gave me just the positive reinforcement that I needed. I went to sleep feeling good about my plan for the following day. The next morning when I woke up I called Beatrix into my room and she crawled in bed next to me, obviously still a little upset. We talked for a few moments before beginning our day, a day that included extra reading time along with a couple of simple crafts. I’ve been more mindful of her needs ever since, and it has made all the difference for both of us.
Small Steps for Catholic Moms, written by Danielle Bean and my dear friend, Elizabeth Foss, has been a source of inspiration to me for nearly three years now. It gently encourages spiritual growth without overwhelming. For each day of the year there is a brief meditation in the form of scripture or a quote, in addition to a prayer and a gentle suggestion to act on. It only takes a few moments to read each day, and then it’s up to you to use it to fit your needs. You can pick it up every day, or once a week. This book is truly a gift. Small Steps has just been republished, and as part of a blog tour being hosted by CatholicMom.com I have two copies to give away today. I am so glad to have this opportunity to share the gift with you! If you would like a copy, simply leave a comment on this post. I’ll randomly select two winners on Friday so that I can get the books in the mail this weekend. Comments are remaining open on this post, however the winners have already been selected and notified. (And because I’ve been asked before, no, you don’t have to be Catholic to enjoy this book!)
If you’re interested in winning a complete set of the CatholicMom.com books (including Small Steps) be sure to check out the “Five Minutes Alone” contest going on right now. Share the funniest way you grab five minutes alone in order to be entered to win.
The two winners of the Small Steps for Catholic Moms books are:
“Wow, thanks for the chance to win! I’m thinking of you during the last few weeks of pregnancy. I’m been struggling for a few weeks with my two (only two and I’m not pregnant!), and this book looks really good to me right now. I am Catholic (but attending a Presbyterian church right now), and love connecting with you when you post about your faith.
Peace,
Megan”
and
Rosemary: “Thank you for this giveaway … this book sounds like a treasure.”
I’ve been hoping to read this book for some time now! What a lovely giveaway!
I am not a Catholic mum yet, but I will be doing RCIA next year 🙂 I am always on the lookout for books to help me on my journey, and this one looks like a great addition to my small stack!
I’d love to have a copy of this book. Thanks for the chance!
I really enjoy receiving your blog posts via email. Thank you for the chance to win this book. It looks amazing!
I would love to win this. 🙂 Yesterday I spent more than 5 minutes alone. I had an entire hour by myself, at the dentist having my teeth cleaned. I have to admit I had been looking forward to it, knowing I would have time in the waiting room to read and quiet time when I didn’t have to talk to anyone, laying in a comfy chair. 🙂
LOL I totally remember feeling this way.,…after the birth of my daughter. I remember laying in the dentist chair and practically napping while my teeth were cleaned!
I find real peace and joy in reading your blog, and so appreciate your thoughts on parenting. But this post has been hard for me, as the working-full-time mother of a special needs boy, for whose schooling I’m fighting our city for funding. My first, last, and middle thoughts of every day are about my son’s needs; he has trouble articulating them himself, and so his (infrequent) bad behavior is almost always a message to me that I need to focus my attention on him even more closely–helping him be the best that he can be, by being the best mom I can be. Nothing is more important, and the fact that he is a happy, well-adjusted kid is the only thing I need to remind me that all my work is worthwhile. But his healthy development has meant that my husband and I don’t go out; I don’t have hobbies; I don’t exercise; I don’t sleep enough. We have no family nearby to help us. This call to action made me feel terrible. When I feel the need for “me” time, it’s because I haven’t had any in months. I can appreciate that in general our busy lives have led us away from what is most important: showing love to one another, starting with our families. But sometimes 20 minutes of “me” time is the only thing that enables me to keep going with a kind and open heart. I know that my friends–working and stay-at-home moms of deep and abiding faith–share this need.
Dear Kate, please don’t let this post make you feel badly. That “action” prompt is of course not going to apply to every mom in every situation, it just happened to be what I needed on that day. I know it wasn’t written with the intention of making anyone feel bad or to say that there is anything wrong with taking time for ourselves. It wasn’t meant to be read as a condemnation of “me time.” To be good mothers we have to take care of ourselves. But for me, on this occasion I needed to step outside of myself for a moment in order to come back to center, despite the fact that I am genuinely struggling right now–I hope that makes sense. You are doing a wonderful job and it sounds like you need to be taking more time for yourself, not less. But I also know how hard it is to do that. (I’ve never had family nearby to help out either.) I’m saying a prayer for you right now. love, Ginny
Thanks, Ginny, for your kind reply. You’re in my prayers as well. You are a remarkable mom and are a real source of inspiration for me!
Thank you this book is awesome
God Bless
the book sounds like a treasure trove of wisdom and peace.
i love that you realized that she wasn’t just acting out to act out and took steps to address the situation and make her feel special.
This would be a wonderful book for the morning prayer arsenal!
I would really love to read this book.
I would love to win a copy of this book. I find it hard to give my littlest the time they need while homeschooling 6 others and surviving first trimester woes. I recently found your blog and enjoy readingit. Thank you.
I love this. Just love it.
I can so relate to this post. I just had my third child and his two big sisters are in need of lots of extra attention and I feel stretched so thin most days, this book sounds like the perfect way to feel a bit centered again, in many many ways. Thank you!
This book sounds fantastic!
I have the original version with the journal and love them. My oldest daughter is getting married in December and I would love to give it to her!
That book sounds amazing. I am a homeschooling mom of four and often feel like the chaos is beyond overwhelming. Sitting down with God can be the perfect antidote.
Your quote from the book is so apropos of the moment…..
Thank you for your blog….I never miss it for its quiet reflections, lovely photos & calming effect it has on me.
Thank you……….
I am a pregnant and homeschooling mom, too. I think this book would really help me to see more clearly on the rough days. Best wishes to you and your family.
That looks like a great book–one I could surely use!
Hm, I think I needed to hear that meditation today too. Thanks for sharing (and thanks for the giveaway!).
I have many Moms who would love this book! Count me in!
I would love to have a copy of this book! Thank you for recommending it and for offering for free!
Ginny. The internet is a funny and serendipitous place. To think that I feel like I know you from reading your blog is such a fares, and yet the self-reflection that I have been able to pursue because of ideas ignited from your posts has been so nourishing. I found you through Adele Collins, musingsonthesimplelife. As my husband and I continue our faith journey towards Catholicism, I am increasingly drawn to women like you. Thank you for sharing these insights into your life. Truly, alice figg
I would love to win this book! Sounds like exactly what I need with homeschooling, being a mama/wife, and all my ministry/volunteer commitments lately. Even if I don’t win, I think I’m going to buy a copy. 🙂 Thanks for the opportunity to win! God bless you in these last weeks of pregnancy!
Don’t you love when you find the inspiration when you need it the most? I have been reading The Yoga Sutras and every time I read it, I always find something that just completely resonates with me. It’s amazing! This book sounds equally as helpful and amazing. I’m glad you and Bea were able to work it out. Sounds frustrating for both of you. And sitting still?! Ahhhh, horrible! 🙂
This book sounds great!
Oh, how God refines us all on this home-schooling journey! Thankful for the encouraging word right when you (and I) needed it 🙂
Blessings to you and your family!
I may live a bit far to stand a chance here, but thank you for the give away. It looks like just the thing I need. All the best Ginny. X
What a wonderful book!
What mom doesn’t need this kind of help? I certainly do!
Looks like a great book! I will need to order it if I’m not lucky enough to win.
Hi,
I’m not catholic, but having read your post I would really like to read the book.
Hugs from Spain
Iona
Hi,
I have two young sons and I could use all the help I can get:):)
Trip to take out trash!
Ok that was how I steal a minute along wrong contest!
I have the first book, and love it! It has been my way of attempting to refocus on what’s really important as I mother my young boys. I have been looking forward to this new version ever since I heard it was being published.
I am often humbled by such synchronicity – how some need or learning is answered so beautifully, if I am open to receiving the message. I wish you peace in this time, Ginny!
I would love a copy of this book. Thanks for such a wonderful opportunity.
Likewise, I think I will be buying this book even if I don’t win!
I would love to win one of your books, but if I don’ I will go buy one. Thank you.
What a great book to have on hand, especially during times of needed inspiration! Thanks for the chance to win!
The meditation for today was appropriate for me as well. I appreciate your example and the suggestion of this book!
This would make a wonderful gift for my daughter. Thank-you.
This book sounds like exactly what I need right now. If I don’t win a copy I will probably go buy it! 🙂
I would LOVE a copy of this book Ginny! I love how the page you read coincided perfectly with what you were going through…just the sign you needed to know you were right where you needed to be…and to push on. That last month is such a big transition…of letting go. I’m thinking of you…sending you lots ‘o love lady!!
:)Lisa
Oh I need some inspiration with my little ones. I would love this book! Thank you for the chance.
Looks lovely! Thanks for the chance.
What a great giveaway! Thank you!
I would love the book. Even though my children are young adults now, I still need to remember to take this new phase of life in small steps.
The book looks amazing and thanks for your post. I am expecting my 5th and this has been my hardest pregnancy so far and I have been feeling lately like I am really letting my kids down and not being the mom I want to be to them so it was so so helpful to hear that I am not alone in my mommyhood struggles! God Bless you and you new little one!
Thanks for sharing, Ginny … God bless!