I am a ‘never stops moving’ sort of person. If you do find me sitting down, I’m probably knitting. I even knit while I am homeschooling my kids. Knitting or a really good book are for the most part the only things that make being still appealing to me (the big exception being snuggling a newborn. I can totally do that too.) So of course, that is the mom that my kids know: high energy, up and about mom. However, for the past month or so I’ve been pretty much knocked down, unable to do much at all. This is hard on all of us. Previous pregnancies have had their share of aches and pains, but I was always able to sort of push through it somehow. The problems I’m having this time around can’t be ignored or dealt with in the same way. I’ve learned to measure my steps carefully, because if I take too many I end up becoming a crying mess over the pain which isn’t good for me or anyone else in my family. I’m not going to pretend that I’m handling this in a consistently graceful fashion. Things often feel chaotic and out of control and I pretty much hate those feelings.
Last week we had a day that ended with Beatrix deciding that she was going to work in opposition to everything I asked. Generally speaking she is a very strong willed little girl so I am accustomed to her ways, but this was extreme. We were at the end of a day that had been particularly difficult for me, and evidently it was affecting her as well. She was determined to make a giant mess, and I quickly became very frustrated and did not handle things well at all. I couldn’t think clearly enough to recognize that my current state is proving to be very hard on her and her behavior was a result of that. I was having a hard time seeing beyond my own pain to hers. She went to bed crying that night and my heart was broken over the whole situation.
There is a danger in letting myself sink too deeply into thoughts revolving around how I feel and how hard this is. Typically that makes me feel worse. Of course I must take care of myself, but if I can find small ways to continue to meet the needs of my little ones I am ultimately going to be happier and so are they. On that rough evening, once Beatrix was asleep, I really wanted to sit down and knit while I collected myself. But I knew that the key to turning things around with her was in my finding some ways to creatively meet her needs and spend more time with her. So that night, rather than knitting, I sat down at the kitchen table and planned out some simple activities. I vowed to make sure to give Bea special attention the following day and to do my best to continue to do so in the weeks to come before the baby is born.
I was still feeling a little sad when I crawled into bed that night, and looking for encouragement I pulled my familiar copy of Small Steps for Catholic Moms off my bedside table, turned to the day’s meditation, and this is what I read:
Think :: “The great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort, and independence, lies in the fact that people close their hearts and become selfish.”
Pray :: Dear God, make me keenly aware of the needs of others today. Use me as your instrument to meet those needs.
Act :: The first time you want to take some “me” time today, turn your attention instead to the neediest member of your family. Open your heart wide to her needs and pour yourself into meeting them.
And those small prompts gave me just the positive reinforcement that I needed. I went to sleep feeling good about my plan for the following day. The next morning when I woke up I called Beatrix into my room and she crawled in bed next to me, obviously still a little upset. We talked for a few moments before beginning our day, a day that included extra reading time along with a couple of simple crafts. I’ve been more mindful of her needs ever since, and it has made all the difference for both of us.
Small Steps for Catholic Moms, written by Danielle Bean and my dear friend, Elizabeth Foss, has been a source of inspiration to me for nearly three years now. It gently encourages spiritual growth without overwhelming. For each day of the year there is a brief meditation in the form of scripture or a quote, in addition to a prayer and a gentle suggestion to act on. It only takes a few moments to read each day, and then it’s up to you to use it to fit your needs. You can pick it up every day, or once a week. This book is truly a gift. Small Steps has just been republished, and as part of a blog tour being hosted by CatholicMom.com I have two copies to give away today. I am so glad to have this opportunity to share the gift with you! If you would like a copy, simply leave a comment on this post. I’ll randomly select two winners on Friday so that I can get the books in the mail this weekend. Comments are remaining open on this post, however the winners have already been selected and notified. (And because I’ve been asked before, no, you don’t have to be Catholic to enjoy this book!)
If you’re interested in winning a complete set of the CatholicMom.com books (including Small Steps) be sure to check out the “Five Minutes Alone” contest going on right now. Share the funniest way you grab five minutes alone in order to be entered to win.
The two winners of the Small Steps for Catholic Moms books are:
“Wow, thanks for the chance to win! I’m thinking of you during the last few weeks of pregnancy. I’m been struggling for a few weeks with my two (only two and I’m not pregnant!), and this book looks really good to me right now. I am Catholic (but attending a Presbyterian church right now), and love connecting with you when you post about your faith.
Peace,
Megan”
and
Rosemary: “Thank you for this giveaway … this book sounds like a treasure.”
Sounds awesome! I’d love a copy. 🙂
This sounds like a breath of fresh air. I would love a copy! Thank you.
Please! This sounds like a wonderful book. I may buy it anyway and gift it to a dear mama friend if I do win. Thank you for all your honesty and your struggles. You are such a blessing. May God be with you through these days! Grace and Peace.
i’d love a copy xx
I could/would definitely use this book. I can see it helping me, especially if i read it before I come downstairs in the morning.
I would love to win a copy of this post and if I don’t, it’s going on my Christmas wish list.
good idea! Christmas list!
Oh I would love to win a copy if this book. I could use some reassuring words.
This book seems like it would be perfect for me right now — with two-year-old twins and a seven-month-old, the steps I take are always very small, spiritually… and literally!! 🙂
As a mom of four I am challenged to stoke up the light of love in each of them every day. When they were little I found reassurance that my guidance was received in the small hands that reached for mine or the tearful faces that came to me to find comfort or the joyful exuberance shared overwhelmingly…and then the teenage years entered our home and the breaking away, sometimes towards darkness, left me searching for my own light. I am comforted and reassured by your openness. I have had moments in this journey where my only strength came from my faith that He is in control over all things. The challenges don’t end when they begin to spread their wings, it is perhaps a time of even greater challenge. My thoughts and prayers are with you, what a wonderful resource to draw strength and focus from as you nurture these lives on their paths.
I would love to win a copy if this book….I could really use the encouragement right now..
Hi Ginny, thanks for the opportunity, I’d love to win this book! Most of the daily prayer books we have in this house are for small people! E
I love when the lesson lines up with life.
Thanks for the giveaway!
I would love to win this book.
This is would be great added support as I am continually looking for additional support in mothering.
Thank you for sharing today. I recently had to take a time out for my youngest son. Being the baby of our 5 kids is tough on him as well. I let him pick what ever he wanted to do last Saturday. He decided to stay home and just watch his favorite movies snuggled up together. Not only did he “perk up” but he also helped me “perk up” too. God Bless you & your family.
My daughter is expecting “Blessing #4” in December. She is a wonderful mom who walks with the Lord and I would love to give her this book.
JMJ
Thank you for this post! I started my 19th year of homeschooling in August, we are blessed with 10 living children, so there are many challenging days. This looks like a great book! May Our Lady pray for you in this difficult time. I know it must be very hard to stay off your feet and delegate everything. I was 2 hours away for 9 and a half weeks with a preemie 3 years ago. God bless you.
Cindy
This sounds like a wonderful book.
Your post was very touching. It’s obvious how much you love your children and despite all the stress of this time are finding ways to take care of them. Love the book and the gentle encouragement it gave you 🙂
This looks like a fantastic book…and it is wonderful that it gave you and Beatrix a better day together. May this book go to the one whose heart needs it most! ( Maybe me?)
I would love this. I think I need the encouragement, since I’ve been struggling through some similar things recently.
Wonderful post! Something to keep in mind for when the kids get home from school.
These words really spoke to me today. Our house has been a big ball of stress lately. I’m not catholic but I still think this book sounds wonderful, I’m going to try the “Act” today with my 4 year old, I can already tell it would help both of us.
This sounds wonderful! I would love to win a copy.
What a beautiful book, and one that would be valuable to so many. Thanks for doing the giveaway!
This is exactly what I have been searching for these days. As a mama of seven, I look for quick ways to try and refocus and center myself towards how Christ wants me to live my life! Ginny, praying for strength for you in your last weeks few weeks before your baby arrives.
The book sounds like a wonderful tool to help me in my walk of faith and motherhood. I would love a copy- to read and lend to friends!
This book looks great! Thanks for sharing. We all need to learn to take small steps in our faith journey and need encouragement from our fellow members in the Mystical Body of Christ.
Thanks for adding that comment about not needing to be Catholic to appreciate the book. It sounds like a good way to re-center and adjust your attitude as a mama. I pray that your pregnancy brings continued nourishment to you and your family!
I would enjoy this book very much. I think it would help a lot with homeschool time.
I’d love to win one!
I’d love to win one of these copys – it would be a great companion for a catholic mom in Austria high up in the mountains 🙂
maria
This looks a superb book, and one that I would benefit from reading!
This book would truly be a Godsend. No pun intended. I live with and am dependent on my youngest daughter in exchange for taking care of my 2 yr old grandson while she works, etc. I also battle chronic nerve pain. I often find myself feeling exactly as you describe. So many times it is challenging to see past the pain. Thanks for always sharing so much of your life with us
The book sounds wonderful. I could really use something like this right now. Single parenting while my husband is away, never thought it could be so hard!
I tend to get overwhelmed with the big picture, this book seems like it could really help me take each day as it comes and make the best of it <3
The book sounds amazing! We are going through some changes in our family and this book would helped me soo much to keep it together and support my kids during this time!!! I may get this book for my sisters too!
What mother couldn’t use some meditation time on challenging days with our kids. Thanks for the opportunity.
This would be a perfect gift for a friend of mine! Thanks for sharing, what truth!!
This post resonates with so many of us with kids. I’d love to reflect more over the book. What a thoughtful giveaway
I teach kindergarten all day at a Catholic school then come home to my 3 teenage girls and very busy husband. I know I would benefit from this book. Thanks!
I would love this book! I need something like this. Thanks for sharing,
The quote from the book sold me!! I was ready to buy it on Amazon before I got to the end of the article!! We are in a state of transition from homeschooling to going to school for my college freshman daughter and high school freshman son….I feel like a pre empty nester!! 🙁 I feel very “into” how I’m feeling now that I don’t identify as a homeschooler anymore and, if I am being honest, it is effecting my home. I’m sad. Anyway, if someone else gets blessed by these books I am definitely ordering!! 🙂 I’m not Catholic but the books seems to transend that, doesn’t it?
I would love to win this book! I have recently just gone back to the Catholioc Church, and started homeschooling my son. I could use some reassuring words.
It’s always amazing to me how God will speak the words to us that we need to hear…sounds like a perfect book. I would love to have a copy!
What a great reminder! I’m often tempted, when stuff gets hard, to think I’m the only one in the world struggling and that there is nothing anyone can do to help alleviate the stress. Thanks for this reflection!
I love this post. The book sounds wonderful and I would love a chance to win a copy.
I love your post today. I head the social committee for my moms bible study and this includes a monthly give away. Hopefully my name gets drawn! This would be great for a mom in the group 🙂
Those words were what I needed to hear this morning. I’d love to have that book! Thanks!