I am a ‘never stops moving’ sort of person. If you do find me sitting down, I’m probably knitting. I even knit while I am homeschooling my kids. Knitting or a really good book are for the most part the only things that make being still appealing to me (the big exception being snuggling a newborn. I can totally do that too.) So of course, that is the mom that my kids know: high energy, up and about mom. However, for the past month or so I’ve been pretty much knocked down, unable to do much at all. This is hard on all of us. Previous pregnancies have had their share of aches and pains, but I was always able to sort of push through it somehow. The problems I’m having this time around can’t be ignored or dealt with in the same way. I’ve learned to measure my steps carefully, because if I take too many I end up becoming a crying mess over the pain which isn’t good for me or anyone else in my family. I’m not going to pretend that I’m handling this in a consistently graceful fashion. Things often feel chaotic and out of control and I pretty much hate those feelings.
Last week we had a day that ended with Beatrix deciding that she was going to work in opposition to everything I asked. Generally speaking she is a very strong willed little girl so I am accustomed to her ways, but this was extreme. We were at the end of a day that had been particularly difficult for me, and evidently it was affecting her as well. She was determined to make a giant mess, and I quickly became very frustrated and did not handle things well at all. I couldn’t think clearly enough to recognize that my current state is proving to be very hard on her and her behavior was a result of that. I was having a hard time seeing beyond my own pain to hers. She went to bed crying that night and my heart was broken over the whole situation.
There is a danger in letting myself sink too deeply into thoughts revolving around how I feel and how hard this is. Typically that makes me feel worse. Of course I must take care of myself, but if I can find small ways to continue to meet the needs of my little ones I am ultimately going to be happier and so are they. On that rough evening, once Beatrix was asleep, I really wanted to sit down and knit while I collected myself. But I knew that the key to turning things around with her was in my finding some ways to creatively meet her needs and spend more time with her. So that night, rather than knitting, I sat down at the kitchen table and planned out some simple activities. I vowed to make sure to give Bea special attention the following day and to do my best to continue to do so in the weeks to come before the baby is born.
I was still feeling a little sad when I crawled into bed that night, and looking for encouragement I pulled my familiar copy of Small Steps for Catholic Moms off my bedside table, turned to the day’s meditation, and this is what I read:
Think :: “The great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort, and independence, lies in the fact that people close their hearts and become selfish.”
Pray :: Dear God, make me keenly aware of the needs of others today. Use me as your instrument to meet those needs.
Act :: The first time you want to take some “me” time today, turn your attention instead to the neediest member of your family. Open your heart wide to her needs and pour yourself into meeting them.
And those small prompts gave me just the positive reinforcement that I needed. I went to sleep feeling good about my plan for the following day. The next morning when I woke up I called Beatrix into my room and she crawled in bed next to me, obviously still a little upset. We talked for a few moments before beginning our day, a day that included extra reading time along with a couple of simple crafts. I’ve been more mindful of her needs ever since, and it has made all the difference for both of us.
Small Steps for Catholic Moms, written by Danielle Bean and my dear friend, Elizabeth Foss, has been a source of inspiration to me for nearly three years now. It gently encourages spiritual growth without overwhelming. For each day of the year there is a brief meditation in the form of scripture or a quote, in addition to a prayer and a gentle suggestion to act on. It only takes a few moments to read each day, and then it’s up to you to use it to fit your needs. You can pick it up every day, or once a week. This book is truly a gift. Small Steps has just been republished, and as part of a blog tour being hosted by CatholicMom.com I have two copies to give away today. I am so glad to have this opportunity to share the gift with you! If you would like a copy, simply leave a comment on this post. I’ll randomly select two winners on Friday so that I can get the books in the mail this weekend. Comments are remaining open on this post, however the winners have already been selected and notified. (And because I’ve been asked before, no, you don’t have to be Catholic to enjoy this book!)
If you’re interested in winning a complete set of the CatholicMom.com books (including Small Steps) be sure to check out the “Five Minutes Alone” contest going on right now. Share the funniest way you grab five minutes alone in order to be entered to win.
The two winners of the Small Steps for Catholic Moms books are:
“Wow, thanks for the chance to win! I’m thinking of you during the last few weeks of pregnancy. I’m been struggling for a few weeks with my two (only two and I’m not pregnant!), and this book looks really good to me right now. I am Catholic (but attending a Presbyterian church right now), and love connecting with you when you post about your faith.
Peace,
Megan”
and
Rosemary: “Thank you for this giveaway … this book sounds like a treasure.”
Oh, this sounds like a wonderful book. I struggle every day with finding a balance in taking care of my family and taking care of myself. I often don’t succeed…Thanks for the lovely passages you write each day on your blog. I often turn to it for inspiration.
That book quote was meant for me today. God is always giving us opportunities to prove our love for Him through our kids.
I really think I need this, right now.
This sounds like an amazing book! Thanks for the giveaway!
I am Catholic, and would love to read this book.
I don’t think you need to be a mom to appreciate this book. I have a DH who is sees himself as far less than the man God sees him as. And I work very hard ay nurturing his low selfesteem, poor housework help and count the number of times he makes me laugh deeply at very simply things. How nice it is to be thanked for getting dinner on the table (who says thank you for that anymore?). How long I prayed to God for a child and he blesses me with a man child so help sort out. A book of enouragement would be well received.
I can relate to what you’ve said very easily. I am currently on modified bedrest with our fifth child (plus three little ones in Heaven) and it is very difficult to stay calm and at peace when the busyness of life can no longer be tackled by me. I am used to be the one who runs the household and handing over those duties to everyone else has made me crankier and more stressed than I’d like. Thank you for your honesty and inspiration.
This book sounds lovely!
What a beautiful post you’ve written Ginny!! This has been happening at our house too, especially the closer the time comes for the baby to be born. My little one is excited to be a big sister but at the same time I know she senses the change & has been pushing more buttons then usual. Thank you for writing so openly!
I so needed to hear this today!
The book sounds wonderful. Thank you for telling us about it!
Sounds like a lovely book for mamas like myself who quite often need to change the focus. Warm thoughts from christian reader from Norway.
what a nice treat in these furlough times….
This book sounds lovely!
That sounds like a wonderful book.
I’m not Catholic but sounds like this book could be a daily reminder of how to do things better each day
Hoping things go smoothly for you all in the coming weeks – envy you those newborn cuddles!
Oh, I just love those books..praying for you and your little ones!
I woul love to have a copy of this book! Thanks for the giveaway!
Looks like a helpful book! 🙂
I would love (and really need) a copy of this book.
Many blessings on the remainder of your pregnancy, and on your family. Your blog is a source of hope and joy to me, and I hope my prayers can return the favor to you!
Thank you for your openness, I worry about my own strong willed daughter and how parenting will look as she gets older. This looks like a great start.
This book looks wonderful. So loving and giving. Thanks for the give away. Thinking of you in this time.
This looks like a great book. Thank you for sharing this struggle, too. I think we all need a reminder like this!
I’ve been struggling myself lately with juggling family, work and trying to find some time to take care of me. I find myself taking just a moment here and there when I feel myself getting frustrated or upset, to close my eyes, take a deep breath and send a prayer to let things go and look at the situation in a different way. this seems to be helping. And I’m teaching my kids this as well for when school life makes them crazy.
Your honesty gives the rest of us courage. Thank you for sharing, and the chance to win such a marvelous book. I hope your day is full of sun and joy – actually, I hope all your days are!
Thank you for sharing your rough times, it’s nice to know I am not alone at times. The books sounds wonderful.
Oh my, this book sounds so good…..encouragement we
all need everyday!
I’m so thankful to those who write these books!
Thank God!
Corinne
I love the small steps concept. Change always come easier for me when I can break it down and focus on the smaller steps of the big picture. I would love to be lucky enough to “win” a copy of the book. And if not, it certainly seems like a book I should put on my Must Have list. Hope your day goes better.
I love reading the devotions Mrs. Foss post on her blog occasionally. I only heard of her book for the first time a few weeks ago when she posted about it’s reprinting. I appreciate the chance to enter here with you, thanks! Isn’t wonderful how sometimes God places something like that day’s devotion for you, that speaks in such a powerful way to that day’s need?! I love those little miracles!
Oh my.. I really needed that meditation. I too am pregnant, and exhausted and in pain this time around and I quite easily lash out at my family. I’ve been feeling quite discontent (“why won’t anyone just do something for me? How hard is it to make a cup of tea?”) Ugh. Thanks for posting this Ginny. It really puts things in the correct perspective for me!
Nicole
I am pregnant and in my first year of homeschooling this year, and I’ve had more moments like this than I care to count. Thank you so much for generously offering this book. I’d love to be in the drawing.
I loved your comment and solutions! Oh Ginny, a copy of this book would be so helpful as I try to remember how to do this with my 5 grandchildren!
Thank you for the opportunity!
Good to be reminded of The Truth!
I forget so often that my little ones often misbehave in reaction to MY behavior. Thank you for the giveaway.
I would love the reminders in the book. I may not always be constantly physically on the go, but my mind never stops.
Thanks for sharing this post. I think all moms have been in that spot one time or other — so difficult to always being putting the needs of the little ones ahead of our own. And the more you have, well the more needs there are to be met… and oh how those needs aren’t always presented at “convenient” times. Thanks for the reminder to trust God in helping us to do it, as He gives us the graces when and where we need them.
Would love to be entered in the contest!
Thank you for the opportunity to enter this contest and for a glimpse into your beautiful life. Praying for you…pax, amanda
Thanks for sharing with us. This book sounds just perfect for a busy mom. Thanks for the chance to win!
I am currently in the hospital recovering from an emergency appendectomy. I have 3 children at home and run a family childcare. I have been fretting all night about how I am going to allow myself to heal, care for my family, and meet the needs of my childcare families. I still don’t know the answers, but this book might help me make peace with my situation and offer some guidance.
I would really like to read the book. I have had too many days like what you described. I keep trying to do it better.
Oh what a beautiful thing to open up in that moment. xoxo~
I would love to have a copy of that book so I can continue to grow closer to Our Lord.
Thanks for this post. It’s a great reminder to seek forgiveness, forgive oneself and move ahead. The book sounds wonderful–I am putting it on my wish list.
Oh Ginny I have been looking at this book on Amazon for so long!!
Bea is very blessed to have a mommy like you! 🙂
Wow, that book sounds like exactly what I’ve been looking for. I will be buying a copy soon!
Good job turning your week around! I find that so difficult when I’m pregnant.
Sounds like you made the right decision and had the perfect confirmation for it. What a lovely devotion. I hope things ease up for you on the pain. My second pregnancy was my rough one but of course well worth it. 😉
Please enter me in the giveaway – I have a friend who is a strong Catholic homeschooler whose family has been going through some tough health issues since last year. I’m sure she’d love this book!
You have such a wonderful blog! Glad I stumbled upon it!
Prayers for you and the family! It’s a joyous and stressful time for you all – hard to always keep things in balance. Thank you for sharing what helps you – it helps many others too!
What a great devotion! It sounds like a wonderful book! Thank you for sharing!
I have full sympathy with your pain, i went through it too with #3. No fun at all xxoo